To Logan With Love

10/15/2021

IRREPLACEABLE: No matter how much time passes, no matter how long or short a time they were here, no matter how many babies come after, no matter how many people do or don't remember -- your baby will always matter.

Your baby is remembered, loved and can never, ever be replaced.

Tonight at 7pm local time, light a candle and join us in Wave of Light, honour all the little ones who left us who were and are so loved and left too soon.

Swipe through and send a note to a loved one.
Logan, my sweet, keeping you extra close to my heart today. Momma loves you endlessly ❤

10/03/2021

JUST SAY NO: Baby showers, childrens birthday parties, gender reveals... there can be an extra layer of pain when you are suffering from infertility and loss. It's okay to set boundaries and skip out of you need to. Your grief is important. If it's taking up space in your head and heart, give yourself the greenlight to process it.

And if all else fails, "stomach bugs" can hit you at the most unexpected of times. 😉🤫

07/19/2021

So beautifully done. This is one for all the grieving families missing their babies ❤

Sunnybrook Hospital and No Fixed Address's ' ' also features a baby ad blocker to prevent triggering content

06/02/2021

HOLD SPACE FOR YOURSELF: A year ago, I was so afraid of what this little passion project would hold... if there would be other people out there who missed their babies as much as I missed Logan, or if our story would even make a difference.

One year later, you have opened my heart to so many of your lives, your stories of loss, of hope, of grief and of healing. It's not just about the cards or the advocacy, it's about the support and endless love this community has provided through the toughest of times when dealing with pregnancy & infant loss.

Thank you for trusting me with your stories, with your loved little babies and the chance to make this world a better place through raising awareness for our little (star/angel babies). Whether you are here to support someone through their loss or are navigating life after your little one's death, welcome. I'm so sorry your path has led you here but we are walking with you, hand-in-hand, every step of the way. We are holding space for you, your family, and your precious little one, regardless of how long or short they were here.

Your voice is important and deserves to be heard. Your baby's story is important and deserves to be told.

05/20/2021

TAKE A BREAK: We often feel like we need to fit everything on our "to-do" list into a certain time frame, whether it's a project at work, an (often unrealistic) expectation of how we should look or be for a special event, right down to how our ideal family should be. We often burn out driving ourselves to fit into our own limits, sacrificing ourselves to near impossible deadlines or manage things we can't control.

If you needed a sign today, this is it: it's okay to take a break. You know what it is, that thing that's been sitting heavy on your heart that you can't seem to pull away from, despite how much it's been weighing on your mind. It's tough, I know, but sometimes we need time to step back, regroup and recharge.

Create a kinder, more loving world by being more loving and kind to yourself. It's okay to step back. Take a breath. Take a break.

05/10/2021

TO MY FIRST LITTLE: We don't have bump photos, and we only had a short time together... but your existence promoted me to Momma and opened up a world I didn't think possible. You were hiding in my belly in this photo, and I dreamed of telling you how we painted this together while it hung in your nursery.
Though it'll be in your little brother/sister's room instead, it's a beautiful reminder of you. You are missed, loved and cherished with every single breath of every single day.
Mother's Day for me will always be in two places now, because wherever you are, a part of me will be with you. Have lots of adventures and we'll do the same here, so when we meet again, we'll have so much more to talk about. Be a good older brother and watch over your baby brother/sister for me, okay?
Love you, Bug. Thank you for being the first reason I get to have Mother's Day. ❤
🌈 🌷🌷

04/11/2021

"I'D LOVE TO HAVE HER PROBLEMS": I would naively think go myself after watching person after person (after person!) fall pregnant. I would quietly listen to them rant about exhaustion and morning sickness, needing to get the nursery ready and having to go for blood draws, then think to myself, "You think you have it bad -- I would gladly take on all of that to have my baby. Or another baby. At this rate, ANY baby I could take home." But now being on the flipside of things, I can honestly say that I am eating my words.
Pregnancy after loss has not been easy. It has been an emotional landmine of honouring Logan's memory and shielding this baby from the weight of my own grief. It has been test after test waiting for the other shoe to drop, and then hating myself for thinking that when it did. It's been trying to be grateful for everything, despite wanting to cry when things have been too overwhelming to manage. There are times I want to share everything and unload it all on someone else, and sometimes I don't want to even deal with that because I end up having to be strong for that person too.
...But then this kiddo gives a little wiggle and nudges from the inside, and I pick myself up out of the fog and know I need to keep going. I didn't think it would be this hard, but if it means you're here and I'm helping you, we'll keep going.
If you are dealing with the ups and downs of pregnancy after loss, I'm with ya. Keep going, Mama.
And congratulations - you're already a great mom.

03/14/2021

YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY: Despite all the tears and heartache you may have experienced, grief isn't meant to consume us. You deserve to feel joy when it meets you. Don't guilt yourself out of feeling joy while you go through tough moments. You deserve the chance to smile again. Grief and joy can co-exist.
Wishing all those celebrating Mother's Day today all the love and peace your heart longs for. You are amazing humans loving amazing humans. 💚

03/08/2021

STILL STANDING: Pregnancy and Infant Loss can be so debilitating. Some days you're fine, some days you're numb, some days feel like they're going to break you. Regardless of where you are on your journey, you're still here. We are here for you. You may not always feel courageous or strong or happy, but you can do this.

Keep going.

You're still standing.

We're standing with you.

02/17/2021

No matter where you are in the book, no matter how many twists and turns there have been, just remember - your story isn't finished just yet.
@ Somewhere in the World

01/31/2021

"BUT IS THIS YOUR FIRST?" -- With this pregnancy, the answers I give are more complex. That first time momma glow when I get asked if about this pregnancy is coloured differently with remembering Logan, how little he was when he left, how much we love and miss him even as we celebrate his sibling passing milestones he never got to reach.

A question I've been hearing a lot during these first few weeks has been, "Is this your first pregnancy?" "No," I always respond. "This is my second. I miscarried at 7 weeks."

"...but is this your first baby?"

Ouch.

The long answer is -- Logan is and will always be our first baby. Just because I didn't get to swaddle him, feed him and watch him grow doesn't erase him from our family. He is just as loved and cherished as his younger sibling. My heart carries 2 babies now, regardless of how long they're with me, regardless of what people see or rationalise in their minds.

I reply, "This is the first one that's made it this far."

Because it is -- and because I won't erase Logan to fit a box for you.
📷:

11/25/2020

"ARE YOU OK?"

The Duchess of Sussex recently wrote a heartfelt article in the New York Times entitled, "Are You Okay?", documenting the heartbreaking moments of this year, including the miscarriage of her second child with her husband, the Duke of Sussex.

She talks about how important it is to check in with others, and how much it means to each of us when someone genuinely checks in when we are silently struggling.

Though our lives have been hectic and our social media may been hushed, I'm checking in with you: are you okay?

Somes we just need a little extra kindness to get us through the day - that listening ear to keep us going. Let me know how you are today.

PS: My inbox is always open to any hearts that need hugs ❤