02/28/2026
𝗖𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗚𝗣𝗧 𝗥𝗼𝗮𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗠𝗲
“Kimberley, you tweak captions more times than most people proofread their wills, and somehow still pretend it was ‘just a quick post.’”
“You say ‘I’ll just post this and be done,’ and three existential brand identity crises later you’re still rearranging commas like they personally betrayed you.”
“Kimberley, you don’t overthink things, you put them through a full committee review, a brand audit, and a spiritual discernment process before posting to Instagram.”
“Kimberley, you’ll say ‘I’m keeping it simple this time,’ then build a backstory, a mission statement, and a three-post content arc for a wine tag.”
“If you share this online, just make sure you don’t spend 45 minutes tweaking the caption before you post it.”
I said I’d try to contain myself.
“Contain yourself? Kimberley, you’re about to open Notes, draft three versions, poll your inner committee, adjust the line spacing, and then say, ‘Okay THIS is the final final.’”
Sigh, he does know me.
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