28/11/2018
When a mum tells you she’s tired, don’t ask her if it’s because she had a bad night. It’s not just about the sleepless nights, is it? Whilst a full nights sleep would be AWESOME, the tiredness runs so much deeper, and in some respects it is beyond all realms of comprehension.
I remember so many people telling me before having children that I should make the most of sleep now, because soon I will be tired. But over time, and after years of sleepless nights, I’ve learned that it’s not just those that are making me as tired as I am. In some respects, the sleepless nights are just the tip of the iceberg.
It’s the not being able to take a day off. It’s no matter how ill or rough, or tired, or anxious, or depressed you are feeling, you get up, put up and show up. No hiding away. No grieving. You smile and you get on with it. Head on.
It’s never being able to skip a meal.
Don’t feel like cooking? Don’t want to wash up? Tough. Kids gotta eat.
Don’t feel like food shopping? Sorry! KIDS GOTTA EAT.
It’s the stuff that HAS to get done.
Even on days where you don’t feel like getting out the house, you get out to save the children from cabin fever. You have no choice. You get everyone dressed, ram little feet into shoes, coats, pick snacks, nappies, wipes, drinks, car seats, comfort blankets and get outside. Whether you have the energy or not.
It’s never having time to fit in something for just ME. I don’t know when I went to the loo by myself last, let alone had a relaxing bath or a shower. It’s tiring not having the time to take care of yourself.
Yesterday whilst waiting in a queue at the post office, my son asked me thirty times for some sweets. I started calmly, explaining that he could not have any before lunch. That I didn’t have enough money on me, even if I wanted to buy them. Then my answers got shorter and shorter. At times like that I want to cry whilst everyone looks on at you, judging how you react to your child.
Even the smallest tasks can come with a mountain load of unforeseen problems.
It’s never simple. A life where you only had yourself to think about, now you are suddenly last in the pecking order. And it’s exhausting remembering everything for everyone else.
So when a mum says she is tired, whilst she probably did have a terrible night, please remember the absolute ton of other stuff going on in her life that is causing it, too.
