27/08/2021
Post-pregnancy body mental struggles
When I was pregnant, I had the natural concerns about keeping the baby safe, and those concerns were my priority. Now that I have given birth the concerns for myself have come to the forefront in a huge way, and now I’m left with a body that I’m uncomfortable in.
I feel I was naive while I was pregnant. I had a relatively small bump, no stretch marks and stayed relatively ‘slim’ for a woman during pregnancy. I never expected to still look pregnant after the birth, and without a baby there I felt a sense of emptiness. I never expected the discomfort I would feel. I never expected the natural processes that my body would go through for the weeks to come. I never expected how I would see my belly look ‘hideous’ as the bump disappeared. Now for someone who is not pregnant I have extra weight, loose skin around my waist and bigger looking hips and thighs.
What a woman goes through to bring a little one into the world is nothing but amazing, and I’m sure that what I have been feeling is perfectly natural. That doesn’t remove the fact that I do feel this way, and that’s okay.
When pregnant I was seen to be glowing, then post birth I was complimented on how great I looked. However underneath it all I couldn’t look at my body. Medical advice meant that I was not allowed to run or cycle for at least 6 weeks, and that all activity needed to be leisurely. As someone who is passionate about speaking out about mental health, I feel like I could have been stronger. I couldn’t take photos then, highlighting the impact of my body image on my mental health. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. The photos shared here I took this week, and in some ways, they don’t look that bad. Yet I have always been active as a snowboarder, skier and mountain biker, with a slim waist. Not being able to exercise for 6-8 weeks post birth has been it’s own struggle. It’s hard to not let your body image get you down when you're uncomfortable and there is nothing you can do about it.
Those weeks were some of the hardest that I have experienced recently. I have a beautiful, happy, and healthy little girl. Now I want to be beautiful, happy, and healthy again.
