26/02/2026
The Invisible Decade: A Stay-at-Home Mother’s Story
In commemoration of International Women’s Day — 8 March 2026,
I would like to share a quiet truth.
If you have ever spent a decade as a stay-at-home mother, you may understand what it means to become… invisible.
I always believed I had the voice of a writer — but never quite the space to use it.
Over time, I realised my words were not meant for applause, but for reflection.
For justice.
For the many women whose contributions are deeply felt, yet rarely recognised. A number are friends with whom had shared their stories with me.
When I chose to become a stay-at-home mother, I wasn’t met with hostility —
but with disbelief, and judgment.
Why would an educated woman step away from her career?
Why give up financial independence?
Why walk away from what many would call an “iron rice bowl”?
Some of the hardest insults came from those close in my circle of interaction. Toxic but unavoidable.
To them, my decision looked like a loss. A deviation from the “correct” path and a burden.
Return to work. Earn income. Keep pace.
And yes — I was tempted to follow that path. I went for job interviews and each time I got close to signing, the little one fell ill.
But deep down, I knew:
My child needed me.
And motherhood had taken more from me physically and emotionally than I ever expected — especially becoming a mother later in life.
So I endured the noise.
The comments.
The well-meaning suggestions.
The subtle message that caregiving could be outsourced, maybe go for the "better ones".
But over time, I understood something fundamental:
Some responsibilities cannot be delegated.
Some presence cannot be replaced.
Years later, perspectives softened.
The same doubts were replaced with quiet acknowledgment — as the child once questioned became grounded, secure, and more emotionally assured.
And the truth revealed itself:
No one knows a child like their mother.
Today, we celebrate women who “have it all” and "can do it all".
And that is progress worth honouring.
But we must also ask — at what cost?
I see more women burning out earlier.
Falling ill earlier.
Struggling under the invisible weight of doing everything.
Recognition for caregiving often arrives 10 or 20 years too late —
after a decade of silent dismissal.
No woman should feel lesser for choosing to nurture.
Even as I continued learning and building quietly in the margins of time,
those efforts were rarely “counted” in formal terms.
But stepping back is not retreat.
It is a courageous long-term investment —
in a life,
in emotional stability,
and in the future of society itself.
Would you celebrate yourself?
