01/15/2024
Who Am I?
I am Rajul, the son you never had, a Sun created by God to shed light into the lives of people in dark places. I don't like the idea, but it would have been virtually impossible to do the work without experiencing dark issues firsthand. Fortunately, though, God made much of my experience easier than many I've come across. The unfortunate aspects pertain to my proximity to those places and the problems that come with trying to figure out myself in the process.
I have traveled a long road, 26 years and counting, behind the walls of a few Texas prisons. And I hate it. I used to take pride in the fact that I'm not guilty of r**e or some other s*x crime. After all, those types of convictions were health hazards at one time. Today, not so much. And it took me a while to realize that cultural distinctions concerning why I'm imprison means nothing when I'm still not present and accounted fork help the people I love. When we get down to core issues, the things that matter in real life, the people who love me don't care why I'm in prison~they just want me home.
And it breaks my heart in half knowing my loved ones suffer because of my absence. Mind you, this is a new revelation based on my version of manhood according to standards established by God for men. When I considered how easy it is to follow his pattern, I immediately felt a sense of embarrassment, because I fell for the obviously deceitful details of what I had been told men are supposed to be. I was a child searching for himself. But I guess that's not a sufficient excuse for me as I had been shown by God what not to do. I wasn't a bad kid. Just a lot confused about my humanity and place in the world. Even that one isn't good enough. Not to my own ears. To be honest, my problem was, I didn't trust God to help me with what I intuitively sensed about life and people. I can say that now as I'm keenly aware of what it means to deliver the Truth of self worth to others who don't have a clear view of their own importance.
To be clear, acknowledging God doesn't make me better than the next person. I am, however, trying. Man, am I trying. By the same token, I don't just want to be a good person~I want to do it right. At some point I want a wife and be the cure to the ailments plaguing her heart. I want to be a father to children, mine or otherwise. It's too late for Dad, but I want another shot at being a son to Mom before God calls her home.
And I can't accomplish any of this behind from behind cement walls and razor wire.
But what I CAN do is contribute to life by improving the quality of my own. I share the wisdom I've acquired over the years and introduced the same to brothers from similar backgrounds and conditions. I've been doing this for longer than I can remember. So my reputation is more scholastic than ________ (you fill in the blank). And I'm so proud of the change. I am elated and not embarrassed to be different from the accepted norm. I struggle to teach guys to control and use their minds, as opposed to allowing the world to convince them to toss out the most precious gift God gave each of us~Life. Sometimes I win. But not always. Still I try.
And I hope you'll support me in my efforts to add new perspectives to the lives of those who don't know by purchasing copies of my books and short stories. It's a small beginning, but nonetheless significant to our future.
Keep an eye out for me and trust what I do from this day forward, even if you can't trust what I say.
After all, I am Rajul, the son you never had...
