Some Examples of Evil things Evol Corp has been involved in:
In a 2004 study in the field of weird-sh*t-we-can-make-babies-do, An Evol Corp Associate made several babies look at two pictures. Out of these babies (all of seven-days old, max), 100 percent looked significantly longer at pictures of the "attractive woman" rather than the "ugly bitch". Mean things we at Evol Corp do:
1.We glare at t
hat happy doofus of a neighbor who is perpetually smiling at us.
2.We don't hold the doors open for ANYONE!!! No little old ladies, no wheelchair,crutches or over-burdened shopper, just walk on through and let that door hit our ass on the way IN. We convince ourselves that there was more distance between us and the person behind us if we start to feel bad, but cmon we are Evol Corp, that doesn't happen.
3.We don''t say thank-you or please to anyone for anything. Not to the coffee shop girl, the bus driver, our co-workers, our kids, f**k them! Because they haven't done anything to deserve such niceties.
4.We get a feeling of Euphoria from Walking past someone with a visible handicap, or weird clothing, or almost ANYTHING and say "EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!"
Things we've been blamed for:
We had nothing to do with 9/11
School explosion in New London Texas in 1937.... ok, that was us... haha they still think it was a gas leak....
