05/10/2026
📜 OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE PUMPKINDOODLE COTTAGE RABBITRY 📜
It is with great ceremony, absolutely unnecessary levels of grandeur, and a reasonable amount of concern for what we have gotten ourselves into that we formally introduce:
Sir Marshall Mello of Wonderland
First of His Name, Keeper of the Carrots, Lord of the Hay Bin, Protector of the Pellet Bowl, and Sire of Questionable Future Decisions.
Sir Marshall has officially joined the rabbitry as a working fiber and breeding rabbit, meaning this ridiculous little cloud with ears will eventually earn his keep through both his beautiful coat and carefully planned offspring.
Beneath the tiny gentleman’s waistcoat and overwhelmingly distinguished expression lies a rabbit with an actual job description: producing usable fiber, contributing desirable traits to future litters, and generally expanding the tiny livestock empire one fluffy bad decision at a time.
He is currently in orientation, where his primary responsibilities include eating hay, inspecting carrots, looking suspiciously aristocratic, and learning the boundaries of his new kingdom.
Future duties will include fiber harvesting, grooming tolerance, health and temperament evaluation, and once appropriately mature selective breeding as one of our working sires. Because despite the absurd title, the goal is healthy, well-cared-for rabbits with useful fiber, good temperament, and thoughtfully planned offspring.
His résumé currently reads:
🐇 Occupation: Fiber producer & future sire
👑 Rank: Extremely Important Tiny Gentleman
🥕 Department: Carrot Acquisition
🌾 Territory: The Hay Bin
💼 Special Skills: Being outrageously fluffy, wearing formal attire, and making grown adults rearrange entire rooms around his needs
⚠️ Long-Term Forecast: Several questionable future decisions
Please join us in welcoming Sir Marshall Mello of Wonderland to the farm.
May his coat be luxurious,
his hay be plentiful,
his bloodline be fabulous,
and may God have mercy on us when the breeding program begins.
LONG LIVE SIR MARSHALL. 👑🐇
The Rabbit Empire expands.
