Pepper Grey, 14/12 Mawarra Crescent, Marsfield, Sydney (2026)

09/09/2026

Hi... it's been over 2 months since I've last posted. How have you been? 🖤

I've been well. I think since Pepper has passed, I think I am finding myself adjusting to a new normal. I know grief looks very different to everyone and every dog. If you're wondering what it's looked like for me, well, during the past 2 months, more than sadness... I've been feeling a big sense of relief. Relief that Pepper is now finally resting and no longer in discomfort, relief that the hardest part is over, relief I can live my life now and relief that Pepper lived the best life lived.

I've received so much support and love through this Instagram account, and it became a real safe space where I could be held as I am, and accepted exactly as I am each day as I processed Pepper's last few years, months, and days. It was so unexpected and beautiful at the same time. We hear so much about the negative side of social media, but i was truly reminded of the power and beauty of it - and that true connection can happen on these kinds of platforms. I just want to thank everyone for supporting me and sending so much love to Pepper, to me and my partner. Every comment, every DM and even paintings that you painted of Pepper - it all blew me away and I still can't comprehend and digest what to do with all this love. All I can say is thank you, thank you and thank you.

Moving forward, I hope to post more here and will be connecting and sharing stories in a different way. Pepper Grey is a martingale collar business, but the Pepper Grey Instagram account is an account I've shared from the heart. I'll continue sharing from the heart, but I do know the Pepper Grey Instagram account will evolve as I evolve, and as the brand Pepper Grey evolves. What doesn't change is the reason that started it all...

Lots of love,
Julia

P.S. I've been (and still am) locked out of the Pepper Grey Instagram account... been having issues with 2FA. It's been the most frustrating thing. Luckily, I still have access to posting and checking some messages using Facebook Business Suite. So that's been another reason not to post..!

04/07/2026

I don't know where to begin. Here it goes.

Pepper took her last breath around 8:30pm, 3 July 2026.

It was, truly, the most difficult decision I've ever had to make in my life.

Pepper is now finally resting in peace. She ate pistachio icecream, a choc chip muffin and a chocolate roll cake that she really devoured.

I feel relieved that I finally was able to give her what she most wanted, which was to rest in absolute peace.

My heart aches as I write this.

We planned to say good bye on Wednesday at 2pm, and up until 11:29am I was so sure this was the right thing. At 11:30am, I panicked. I really panicked because I realised Pepper was ready, but I wasn't. I told Ryuto it's 11:30am and it's not enough time, panickedly, and I asked if we could postpone to later in the day. He said, why don't we do it tomorrow instead? So that's how we postponed it - actually we called them to cancel it. I won't go into too much detail here, I just wanted to share here why we said good bye on Friday instead of Wednesday, as I know some of you have been waiting for Pepper's news. I'm sorry to keep you waiting, I couldn't bear to post anything until the decision was made.

It's been about 13 hours since she's gone, and the hole in my heart is very big. Today I will grieve, and take care of myself. And I know there are many people grieving for Pepper today. I am and will be thinking of you 🖤

10/06/2026

We’ve been cooking Pepper steak for breakfast, and strangely enough, her appetite has been really good. And it’s not just because the steak tastes good. Before the medication, she wasn’t eating much and was rejecting a lot of food, so this has been the main reason why and the biggest signal that she wants to keep living. She’s telling us she wants to eat. She’s telling us she wants to live.

It’s been so precious to have her come into the kitchen like this. She is not a fan of the slippery floors, but the food has been so yummy that she’s ended up right in the middle of the kitchen, a.k.a. on dangerous waters.

Meal time has become a really important moment for us lately, because whether she eats or not holds a bigger meaning now than it used to.

If you haven’t done it already, I really recommend you prop your phone up, turn on the timelapse, and just record the everyday moments. Because why not? Life is beautiful, especially the little moments like these. At least to me anyway.

As I write this, Pepper has just approached me and almost booped my face. She’s telling me right now that she wants pets, she wants my attention, she feels safe and happy with me. And that she’s still saying yes to life 🥹

As I always say, I’m taking it day by day, with no expectations. Today is today, and tomorrow is tomorrow. Thank you for all the love, everyone, and I hope you’re all taking care of yourselves, because we are.

Brb going to give Pepper lots of pats now.

10/06/2026

It’s a stay in bed kind of day.

After losing a significant amount of weight, Pepper gets so cold easily so we need to keep monitoring her and making sure she keeps warm. She always has some kind of blanket on her. I know what you’re thinking, why don’t you put a jumper on? We could, but I know she prefers no jumper and blankets instead, and it’s one way to keep monitoring her health (I.e. observing her skin, fur, weight).

I’m also noticing that she’s in bed more today, in the bedroom. Maybe she’s not feeling as social today. That’s okay. Just do what you need to do and I’m here, listening.

09/06/2026

You and me ❤️

I really like seeing us together, especially when I catch our shadows. Oh is that how we look like together. But I can only see you when I look at you. But then I look at the shadow, and see “us”.

I really like “us” and knowing that you are part of the air and the sunshine and the moonlight, it gives me peace of mind you will always be with me. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t ache at the thought of you not being her physically here in the flesh, but it does give me some hope.

08/06/2026

So today Pepper went for a car ride. So unexpected, such a delightful surprise. It’s wild to think that two days ago was the day we were planning to say goodbye, and today she looked so alive and happy.

It just shows how important it is to take it day by day, to tune in to what’s happening right now instead of reaching for a plan or an answer. To trust yourself. And your intuition. Or maybe it’s about trusting the unknown and just surrendering, letting things unfold.

Yesterday she looked a bit more sick. Today she looked really well. I don’t know what tomorrow looks like, and that doesn’t matter. I got to experience today, and I’m enjoying every moment of it. It truly feels like a gift.

We finished the medication the vet prescribed, and we’re picking up more tomorrow. We’ll face tomorrow when it comes. For now, I’m just grateful Pepper got to go on a car ride.

07/06/2026

I’m not an artist. I’m not a painter. I’m just a grieving dog mum.

I’ve had this large piece of canvas for a few months now, but I’ve been terrified of it. It felt too big, too much pressure. I’ve done some watercolour paintings, but never acrylic on canvas. I never studied art. I never thought I was creative.

This year, I learned that everybody is in fact creative. We all have it within us, the power to create. All I have to do is pick up the pen and start moving it across the paper. Look at the shapes in front of me, and draw what I see. With writing, it’s similar. Just like you speak, you put it down one word at a time. Somewhere along the way, we complicate creation. We get caught up in whether we’re allowed to call ourselves artists, when really we just have to pick up the brush, load it with paint, place it on the canvas, and move it around.

That’s what I did with this piece. I never had a subject that felt clear to me until now, and once I knew I wanted to paint, I was unstoppable. With time not on my side, I was a woman on a mission. I was planning to paint just one picture of Pepper, but look at what I ended up with. I have four Peppers on this canvas. Pepper is so full of life that one of her didn’t feel right. It didn’t represent her. She’s full of movement, full of presence. She really fills up the room, just like she fills up this canvas. I feel proud to have a piece of that to hold onto, a moment I can always reflect back on. Thank you for being my model, and such a big subject in my life that I feel honoured to paint. My heart feels full tonight.

07/06/2026

Pepper’s dad baked some scones and hand whipped some lactose free cream tonight. To feed the souls of humans who are caretaking a dog patient, and of course to give some to our Pepper.

Home cooking meals has been a great way to pass time for humans and a way to self-care our spirits and our bodies. Tonight, we treated ourselves with a bit of dopamine inducing baked goodies.

We weren’t sure if pepper would eat the scones or not, but as you can tell she really really loved it today is Sunday and yesterday was Saturday. And Saturday was the date we had originally planned to let her go. Celebrating this extra day with her, and as I repeatedly say, we are taking a day by day.

Her end does seem near.

Thank you to everybody who’s been sharing all their stories and comments about grief and their experiences with euthanasia. It’s been incredibly helpful the place I can find solace and so so so much support. We read the comments every night and each time I read them I get moved by the kindness, and also some kind of clarity and reassurance. Thank you again, and as a way to say thank you, I continue to post my journey.

05/06/2026

Recent photos of Pepper ❤️ june

A face I want to remember
A face I don’t want to forget
Your soft fur
Your rough paws
Your distinct smell
Your warm body
Your velvet ears
Your puffy cheeks
Your soft eyelashes
Your gentle boops
The sound of your foot steps
Your presence in a room
Your soft gaze that looks right into my soul.

I want to remember
I don’t want to forget
I want to remember
I don’t want to forget.

05/06/2026

This is from a couple of days ago, before we went to the vet.

She’s eaten so well since starting her medication and it’s been so nice to see. There’s something therapeutic about cooking something yummy for her that she can actually enjoy. I was so surprised to watch her eat a whole bowl.

The medication was the real game changer. It’s not a permanent fix, it’s a band-aid giving Pepper more ease and comfort in her final days. But you can see why it was so confusing to think this dog is ready to go, when she was showing strong signs she still had some life left to live.

I’m so grateful for these moments. So lucky to be making these final memories with her. Looking back now, I can see why I was so confused. Knowing I’d have to say goodbye in a few days made no sense to me when she was sitting there eating a whole bowl of food so deliciously. It felt like relief and grief at the same time.

Pepper Grey

09/09/2026

04/07/2026

10/06/2026

10/06/2026

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08/06/2026

07/06/2026

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05/06/2026

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