Glen's Limes

Glen's Limes We love Limes, we grow them. Yum. (We also have lemons, oranges, mandarins and avocados too but they aren't as cool)

As the old saying goes, "Tis the season to be jolly!". And it certainly is for Glen's Limes. We are proud to announce ou...
27/12/2015

As the old saying goes, "Tis the season to be jolly!". And it certainly is for Glen's Limes. We are proud to announce our new partnership with the soon to be world famous 'Ye Old 4 Scooners' pub in Coogee! Most of the team went down to the venue last week to ensure it was suitably festive enough to serve our produce and boy were we not disappointed. If you want to sample some good old fashioned beer & citrus produce, get absolutely smashed and dance to some epic tunes from resident DJ, DJ TJ (love the name), I suggest making the '4 Scooners' your next destination. Oh and by the way, they don't turn anyone away! Not even pi**ed up Kiwis!

Hello Lime Lovers! As well as requiring new security personel we are also looking for anyone interested in becoming a me...
01/12/2015

Hello Lime Lovers!

As well as requiring new security personel we are also looking for anyone interested in becoming a member of the prestigeous "Lime Ladies" team.

This is a fantastic opportunity for someone looking for a career in promotional advertising as well as modelling.

Please get in touch if you feel like you have what it takes and want to kick start a new career. We have attached a number of photos of ex employees who have moved on to international agencies in New York, London, Milan and Paris!

Hi everyone! Unfortunately, we have some dramatic and unsettling news to report today. A very large kiwi has been spotte...
30/11/2015

Hi everyone! Unfortunately, we have some dramatic and unsettling news to report today.

A very large kiwi has been spotted trespassing at the premises of all Glen's Limes employees. Although his motives have not been confirmed it is obvious to us here at Glen's Limes that he is trying to steal the lemon he refused to pay for after promising to make a charitable donation towards its upbringing!

What a scumbag.

In other news, Glen's Limes are proud to announce openings in our new security team. If you like drinking juice, staying up late and beating up Kiwis then please get in touch!

Here at Glen's Limes we pride ourselves on having an open mind. We are lovers of all things citrus and also of different...
25/10/2015

Here at Glen's Limes we pride ourselves on having an open mind. We are lovers of all things citrus and also of different shapes and sizes.

To that end we have a gigantic shout out to Russian Tsar, Matt Harding (a.k.a. the BFG), for sponsoring one of our new Glen's Lemons for $150 dollars.

This just goes to show that we don't discriminate against giants or lemon lovers.

We will be meeting Matt in person today to shake his hand for his generous donation and to collect the money. A signed photo of his baby lemon will be winging its way to him shortly.

Well, It's been a while folks but after a harsh winter fighting off wild bears and dingos with a penchant for Glen's Lim...
24/10/2015

Well, It's been a while folks but after a harsh winter fighting off wild bears and dingos with a penchant for Glen's Limes we are back!!!

We must apologise for not keeping you up to date with current stocks. The new season is looking pretty good so we will have a count shortly.

An important matter to clarify before we head into the new harvest year is that there was indeed some controversy in recent months with Hari, our CFO, kicking over one of our trees (he still maintains it was the wind) which meant we couldn't give our 40th follower her prize Lime as it got a bit damaged. We are all about quality at Glen's Limes so simply could not hand over a lime not in 100% tip top condition.

To make up for this we have marked the first Glen's Lime of the season as Inna's! We have contacted Inna with the good news and she couldn't have been more delighted! She said it was the best thing ever to happen to her, even better than her recent marriage to our good friend the BFG!

We have discovered we love making people cry with joy so what better way to do this than offering folk the chance to sponsor a Glen's Lime like Inna and make their dreams come true. If you would like to sponsor a lime please message us and we will send you our bank details so you can transfer $100. Your $100 guarantees your lime recieves the best care and attention, delicious water and fertilizer and we will even sing your favourite song of choice to it before bedtime! We will also send you a weekly picture of your lime so you can see how it is enjoying life!

16/08/2015

KABOOM! Ladies and gentlemen! We have just had our 40th like for the page! The delicious Inna is the lucky winner of an even more delicious (if that is possible) Glen's Lime freshly picked this morning. Congratulations to Inna you lucky devil you.

16/08/2015

A question for our fans! How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Staff profile part 5 continued - The Results: Well, after a full working week of feeding Ben delicious Glen's Limes we c...
14/08/2015

Staff profile part 5 continued - The Results: Well, after a full working week of feeding Ben delicious Glen's Limes we can now present to you the results. We asked Ben to pose for this picture this morning in between his new workout regime of 1000 sit ups and 1000 press ups that he has suddenly felt able to do...

I think you will agree that the change is simply sublime? Gone is the nerdy Ben and hellooooo handsome.

Whilst still being the least cool of the team we all agree that he has certainly improved enough to start working for Glen's Limes and hopefully won't have a negative impact on our pre-order figures for next season.

By the way, did we mention we are now taking orders for next season? Well we are. Go get your credit cards cleared, order a summer supply of Glen's Limes and have beautiful babies on us!

Staff profiles part 5: We have decided to offer our good friend Ben a Promotional Advertising Manager & Local Liaison Of...
08/08/2015

Staff profiles part 5: We have decided to offer our good friend Ben a Promotional Advertising Manager & Local Liaison Officer role at Glen's Limes. This decision comes as we realise the need to build a positive image of Glen's Limes to the local residents of Coogee in a bid to avoid any negative backlash from simple folk. Hamish, our Head of Marketing, will be starting to concentrate efforts on guerrilla gardening opportunities to increase our spring production which will no doubt lead to a sudden increase of lime trees appearing in people's gardens.

But there is a catch.... You see, Ben isn't exactly the coolest cat in town at the moment, often not turning up to drink Whiskey and smoke ci**rs with the Executives. Some might even argue that he is a bit nerdy as a result. Either way he isn't really a cultural fit for the Glen's Limes Team lately so instead of being discriminatory we have kindly decided to use this as an excellent opportunity to demonstrate the life changing benefits of Glen's Limes.

The Test: We will be feeding Ben a lime from last year's harvest every day for a period of 5 days. We will compare an untampered before and after photograph of Ben to easily see the results at the end of the test. I think you will agree this is a flawless plan.

However, this does take the number of limes we have available to purchase down to 16 (Originally 23 with 1 being sold last week and 1 falling off the tree but it was put to good use creating a deliciously refreshing lime drink).

The Glen's Limes Team thinks this is a pretty shrewd move with the potential for future sales being worth the loss of 5 of our best limes!

Stay tuned to see how Glen's Limes could potentially provide a life changing experience an job opportunity for our little Ben!

It was a tough job but after sorting through the 1000s of applications for our Glen's Limes Unpaid Internships we are pr...
08/08/2015

It was a tough job but after sorting through the 1000s of applications for our Glen's Limes Unpaid Internships we are proud to announce that we have taken on enough budding new workers to open our very own Customer Contact Centre. It truly is a hive of activity with pre orders for the next harvest of Glen's Limes coming through thick and fast from all over Sydney. Why, even Kylie Minogue and Ray Meagher have been in touch. Turns out they both use pure lime juice to keep their voices so sexy.

So, if you need limes for any occasion then feel free to drop us a lime... I mean a line!

26/07/2015

The best GIFs are on Giphy

Staff profile part 4: We are delighted to announce the newest member of our senior management team. Hari is our CFO and ...
26/07/2015

Staff profile part 4: We are delighted to announce the newest member of our senior management team. Hari is our CFO and is a financial guru. We are hoping he finds a way to balance the books through tax scams and other loop holes as the Company's weekend alcohol consumption during brainstorming events is really eating into our profits...

For Hari, if there is one thing that makes getting up on a morning worthwhile, it is the thought of freshly squeezed limes all over his Weetbix. In fact, he even has a little happy lime dance that he can't help busting out after every delicious drop of Glen's limes juice. It is a favourite on the party scene! Welcome Hari!

http://giphy.com/gifs/dance-christmas-oMG4obOGnIuvS

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Sydney, NSW
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