Pessimistic Goods

Pessimistic Goods It all started with the poignant phrase “people are the worst”. All items are hand printed or handmade in Kitchener, Ontario.

After many bleak brainstorming sessions and compiling a number of lists of things I hate, Pessimistic Goods was born.

Back to school is coming. The worst!Avoid getting caught up in all that school spirit with a THIS PARTY SUCKS shirt.
08/29/2022

Back to school is coming. The worst!

Avoid getting caught up in all that school spirit with a THIS PARTY SUCKS shirt.

Feeling lost? Always losing your keys?Then this key fob. Wristlet is for you.
06/10/2022

Feeling lost? Always losing your keys?

Then this key fob. Wristlet is for you.

For those who are always losing their keys or just feeling lost in general. 5.5 inches long, 1.25 inches wide. Reinforced fabric and cotton webbing make this sturdy enough for even a Kramer size key collection. Ships domestically via Canada Post oversize lettermail. No tracking is available.

Who cares if you're always late to the party? It'll suck anyway. Link to Etsy shop on page.
05/15/2022

Who cares if you're always late to the party? It'll suck anyway.

Link to Etsy shop on page.

A complaint a day keeps the anger at bay!These DAILY GRIEVANCES notebooks have space for you to record all the things yo...
05/08/2022

A complaint a day keeps the anger at bay!

These DAILY GRIEVANCES notebooks have space for you to record all the things you hate, your biggest failures and what you're dreading about tomorrow.

Link to Etsy shop in bio.

This Bummer Bundle includes everything you need to take your dark cloud with you wherever you go. A zippered pouch, mirr...
04/24/2022

This Bummer Bundle includes everything you need to take your dark cloud with you wherever you go. A zippered pouch, mirror and pins.

Link to shop in bio.

Nothing like the end of the weekend to make you hate all the things. Let the world know without actually having to talk ...
04/19/2022

Nothing like the end of the weekend to make you hate all the things. Let the world know without actually having to talk to people with this classic tote.

Link to shop in bio.

Sick of people coming over and getting their positive vibes all over your house? Avoid conversations about inspirational...
04/16/2022

Sick of people coming over and getting their positive vibes all over your house?

Avoid conversations about inspirational stories with this NEGATIVE SPACE pillow cover.

Link to shop in bio.

Family gathering coming up?Let people know exactly what to expect from you when you arrive with this KILLJOY shirt. Link...
04/13/2022

Family gathering coming up?

Let people know exactly what to expect from you when you arrive with this KILLJOY shirt.

Link to shop in bio.

Same old pessimism but on magnets.These strong ceramic magnets will have you questioning whether or not you really do ha...
04/11/2022

Same old pessimism but on magnets.

These strong ceramic magnets will have you questioning whether or not you really do hate everything.

Link to shop in bio.

Wherever you go this weekend we hope you arrive with a negative attitude, wine and snacks. Link to shop in bio. ...
04/08/2022

Wherever you go this weekend we hope you arrive with a negative attitude, wine and snacks.

Link to shop in bio.

04/08/2022

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Kitchener, ON

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