10/09/2026
📜 A few updates from the tavern, none of them particularly reassuring:
The Goblin Book Club has officially taken a hiatus from books after it was discovered that not a single member can, in fact, read.
They have instead taken up ripping card packs.
We are not saying our stock is in danger.
We are saying we have begun hiding unopened boxes from them.
In other news, our resident dragon has decided that Chuck Norris is, actually, an excellent name - thank you to whoever suggested that. Unfortunately, Chuck has also recently discovered Caramilk bars and has determined that they are worth considerably more than gold.
If you purchase one, we recommend keeping that information to yourself.
Chuck will find you.
Chuck will ask for a bite.
Please remember that Chuck's definition of "a bite" is calibrated for a dragon.
Finally, we would like to make a small request of our patrons:
Please stop ordering in riddles.
You know who you are.
Actually, no. We're talking about one wizard specifically.
Sir, "Bring me the amber river that sleeps beneath a crown of winter foam" is not an acceptable way to order a drink.
Neither is staring knowingly at the tavern keeper and whispering, "You already know what I seek."
We do not.
We have never known.
Well, one staff member can read minds, but it gets fairly exhausting and we respect their wishes to keep their identity secret.
Anyway, everything is going great.
Come see us. 🍫🐉🃏🍻
