10/10/2023
đżHave I ever told you about the time I lived with a chipmunk? Or... rather, when he lived with me? He let himself in during an extended rainstorm & couldnât know it at the time but... that little guy jumped from the fire into the pan... as they say... wait, do people eat chipmunksđ¤
đżI named him Thelonius Munk & although we had more than a few in depth convos, I didnât see much of him. Super talkative though. He was one of those roomies whoâs on a different schedule than you. Eating at midnight, partying while I slept. Heâd be up doing his thing at all hours of the night & tbh that did make it difficult to fully trust him. Not... unlike my last live-in relationshipđ¤
đżThe cats... disliked him. They were all âI donât know why you put up with him. You can do so much betterâ & âHe doesnât even pay rent, heâs SO using youâ but refused to assist me in any practical way, choosing instead to avoid Thelonius, forcing me to deal alone. And I did. I did try to have the break-up talk âThis just isnât working out. Itâs not you, itâs meâ but nope, he had it goodân he knew it. Not unlike my last live-in relationshipđ¤
đżEventually I caught him in a pillowcase. I hiked that thing outside like an olâ cartoon bank robber holding her bag of flopping loot. Snickering proudly. Moving fast. The cats clapping for me all the way. I laughed as I power-walked that f*%ker down the street to the nearest patch of trees. Though, much like my last live-in relationship, heâd probably say it happened the other way âroundđ¤
đżThe moral of the story? Donât live with chipmunks, obviously. Geeez. But also maybe put all the things that drain you, that use your valuable time & energy, that keep you up at night & take advantage, into a pillowcase⌠and chuck it into the woods. Let it go. Listen to the cats. If you just try, I bet you really can do so much betterđ¤