09/05/2025
TW Miscarriage
Hi Clan,
I thought I would give you a quick life update, there was nearly a baby no 4 but sadly it didn't work out.
When I did a pregnancy test, the whole time I felt like I was being a complete drama queen because I honestly thought there is no way! When it came up positive I still didn't believe it 😂 we were both shocked but really delighted. There was no obvious reason to think anything was wrong but as the days went on I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn't going to end with a baby. I had to keep telling myself that the symptoms were just different to the girls and that no two pregnancies are the same or maybe its a boy etc. When I had to say the words out loud to anyone that I was pregnant I honestly felt like I was telling a lie. I went for an early scan thinking this would bring me some reassurance and was surprised to see on screen the beginnings of a baby, but the sonographer said it was a few days too early to see a heartbeat (which I knew it couldn't have been) and so I had to wait 2 weeks just to have what I already knew in my heart confirmed. When we did go back, the embryo hadn't developed any further and even though my gut had been telling me all along that it wasn't right it still didn't make it any easier to hear.
We naively thought that day was going to be the hardest part of the ordeal but the physical side of the miscarriage was completely unexpected and traumatic for us both and absolutely nothing like "a heavy period" Maybe I will share those gory details another time.
If you read this and ever want to chat about your own experience, my inbox is always open.
I am more grateful than ever to have my girls.
❤️