12/10/2022
I thought this week would be a good time to come back on here and have a little chat with you all about why Iāve been very much MIA this year.
Sadly someone very close to me has been severely suffering with their mental health.
I have had to step away from working in order to help care for this person and support others - while it was hard to stop working, the decision to do so wasnāt. When people need you, they need you. Everything else has to take a back seat.
Despite it being almost EIGHT MONTHS since we reached out for official help, weāre still waiting. Itās hard, itās painful and itās relentless. It feels so personal it hurts.
Spending these last few months supporting this person and others - and still doing so - has been hard on my mental health too. Itās a serious knock on effect so everyone around you when youāre struggling. Itās unintentional but seemingly unavoidable.
You try SO damn hard to be everything - parent, wife, friend, daughter, family member - that you forget to be there for yourself.
In all honesty, not only is this person lost, I have been too. I donāt really know up from down right now. I canāt knit. I canāt crochet. All my usual ālifelinesā I turn to arenāt there anymore. Itās so bloody hard.
The hardest thing of all - for me and the person Iām trying to hard to support - is asking for help and relying on people to give you that help. So now Iām asking you on behalf of people in your life who might be struggling - reach out and offer your ear; listen and try to just do that. Often talking about your problems is the biggest source of relief. Just let them know itās ok to not be ok, that itās ok to talk about it.
Iāve always tried to be there for people but this year I just havenāt been able to. Iām hoping that changes soon, because honestly I really miss being there for those who need me.
Now Iāve filled you in (in a distanced way so I can protect peoples privacy) I wanted to let you know that Iām going to try to start dyeing again soon. I hope to by NGY again soon š
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