06/09/2026
MRS G’S SECRET DOUBLE LIFE…
Mrs G has had me puzzled for a few weeks now.
She keeps disappearing into the spare room, shutting the door and putting the laptop on. Then I hear strange voices… lots of excitement… and Mrs G giggling away.
She’s in there for HOURS.
When she eventually emerges, I ask, “What have you been doing in there?”
“Just Whatnot,” she says.
“Just what?”
“Whatnot.”
“What not?”
“WHATNOT!”
Well, that cleared absolutely nothing up.
Then she started disappearing out and returning with bags full of random objects.
“Where’s all this come from?”
“Whatnot. Kirky sorted me.”
I’ll be honest, I was getting worried.
Who was Kirky? What exactly was he sorting? And why had Mrs G suddenly come home with two lamps, a pair of fluffy slippers, an industrial-sized bottle of fabric conditioner and a vegetable spiraliser?
We don’t even spiralise vegetables.
For a terrible few days, I thought she might be living some sort of secret double life.
Then the penny finally dropped…
She’s been joining Lindsay’s Bargain Den live sales on Whatnot!
Apparently, it’s like a proper night out - except you don’t have to leave the sofa, drinks and snacks are optional, and instead of waking up with a headache, you wake up having accidentally bought an air fryer, six cushions and 48 toilet rolls.
Then you collect your haul from the Bargain Den shop on Bath Street.
Lindsay runs the shop, while Kirky helps to keep everything moving behind the scenes.
Kirky and I have developed something of a special bond. We are both good men, doing our best, while being ruled by strong, determined and - if we’re brave enough to say it - slightly bossy women.
Obviously, neither of us would ever actually say that out loud.
Especially if Lindsay and Mrs G are reading this.
Anyway, it’s genius!
It’s the new going out while staying in - with shopping thrown in for added danger.
And this is the sort of thing I love about Ilkeston. People are always keeping on top of their game, trying something new and finding clever ways to keep local businesses moving.
Only in Ilson could an evening on the sofa turn into a night’s entertainment AND a boot full of bargains.
So, come on… who else belongs to this secret Bargain Den 🏷👨👩👧👦 club?
And more importantly, what’s the most random thing Lindsay has persuaded you to buy - and Kirky has helped you carry to the car? 😂