Labour of Love Doula & Shop

Labour of Love Doula & Shop Birth & Postnatal doula extraordinaire, based near Brighton & Lewes. Seller of Hayflowers, doula t-shirts & more.

12/07/2026

🥑 Perineal massage can get in the bin 🗑️
❤️*Unless you like it and it gives you confidence*❤️
It misses the point of what causes tearing.
It has you focused on stretching your f***y, when the real issue is your position when giving birth, whether you’re purple pushing and whether you have an epidural on board.
Oh, and some other, more random factors.
Have you ever done a poo whilst lying on your back? If so, how did that go?
Think how much pressure would be put on your perineum by your baby’s head being pushed uphill in this unnatural position.
An unmedicated woman would leap up off of her back and would not endure a contraction whilst reclined.
But the evidence?
The evidence shows perineal massage reduces the rate of episiotomies ✂️ in first time mums, not tearing.
If you have a provider with a high episiotomy rate, consider changing.
If you can make it fun and it helps you mentally, then great; go for it.
Otherwise, don’t mug yourself that you can stretch your f***y, then give birth laying on your back & all will be well.
Instead, look at how you could achieve a birth where you give birth upright, or on hands & knees, and not having a heavy epidural in place, or if you do, letting it wear off for pushing time.
Ideally, be supported by someone skilled, who respects physiology & can help you to take the last bit slowly, maybe using a warm compress, if you’re not in water.
What do you think? 👍🏽 or 👎🏽

Roma x

25/06/2026

Repost from Charlotte .smart.doula

England’s caesarean rate has not just risen. It has broken away from the trend seen across much of Western Europe.

A new report from the National Perinatal Epidemiology Unit compared caesarean birth rates in England with rates across Western Europe and the USA between 2004 and 2025.

What stands out is not that caesarean rates have increased everywhere.

It’s that England’s rate has surged since 2019, reaching around 45% by 2025, while many comparable countries have seen relatively stable rates or much smaller increases.

I do not believe this can simply be explained by women being older, heavier or more medically complex than women in other wealthy countries.

I do believe women should be able to choose a caesarean birth.

But I do not believe that choosing major abdominal surgery because you are trying to avoid an induction you do not want, a maternity system you do not trust, poor care, discrimination, racism, coercion or trauma is a true expression of choice.

And I do not think we have fully grasped the long term consequences of this shift.

Caesareans save lives. They are one of the most important surgical procedures ever developed.

But they are not risk free.

Higher rates of primary caesarean birth today mean more repeat caesareans tomorrow. More placenta accreta. More placenta previa. More surgical complications. More pressure on maternity services. More emotional and economic costs for families and health systems.

The question is not whether caesareans are good or bad.

The question is why England is diverging so dramatically from similar countries and what that tells us about the state of maternity care.

What do you think is driving this rise?

📚 Reference:
Ambia J, Alderdice F, Knight M, Rowe R, Sanders J, Carson C. International comparison of caesarean birth rates, 2020 to 2025. National Perinatal Epidemiology Unit, University of Oxford, June 2026.

23/06/2026

Your sign to laminate your birth plan!

🌞 Happy Solstice, tout le monde! 🌞
21/06/2026

🌞 Happy Solstice, tout le monde! 🌞

I spent a fabulous weekend away at the Birth Joy Serenity Gathering, with so much birthy talk, connection, laughs, fizz ...
08/06/2026

I spent a fabulous weekend away at the Birth Joy Serenity Gathering, with so much birthy talk, connection, laughs, fizz & cake; celebrating the indomitable Kemi’s birthday.

Big thanks to Shellie and Kemi for a great little break.

When women gather, magic happens.

The placenta teaching aid is beautifully made by Rachel . Stop her and buy one!

Shellie’s dress reminded me of Bill Nighy’s sexy Santa babes.

With .smart.doula & other lovelies. ❤️

Roma x

01/03/2026

Two glorious home birth memories, today.

Fantastic , who gave birth to her first baby, at home. Her midwives wanted to leave because she hadn’t consented to a VE and they ‘didn’t know if she was in labour’ (what bu****it, it was full on happening). To keep them, I asked them to wait 20 mins while we did (an otherwise unnecessary) Sidelying Release (that & leaving the pool is a big ask in advanced labour); after which she started pushing, so they stayed. When the waters popped they wanted her to transfer, due to meconium, but had she agreed, her son would have been born before she even left the building!

Lovely was over 42 weeks when I passed her care on to my doula partner, while I went to teach Birth Biomechanics for Birthkeepers, at Da a Luz, in Spain. She was still pregnant a week later, when I got home, and after a night’s sleep (for me), I supported her powerful and redemptive home birth. She got to experience an un-interfered with pushing stage, after previously having her ‘rest and be thankful’ break turned into a forced-pushing (with no contractions) nightmare. Her baby was also the biggest born of the month (close to 5kg).

Happy birthing days, queens!
Roma x

25/02/2026

I lend a birth sling to my clients.

I started out with one sling, bringing it to births and it wasn’t used because it wasn’t familiar & would require too much thinking.

In labour, you have to get out of your analytical, thinking brain & into your primal, sexual, birthing brain, for it to flow and to feel manageable.

These days I have more than one sling, so I can leave it with my clients in advance, and have them get into it, ready to flow when it’s time.

Roma x

Reposted from .birth.sling:

Don’t attempt to learn a new skill while you’re in labour!

Because labour is not the moment to think your way through something new, it’s the moment your body takes over.

One of the biggest reasons I suggest having The Birth Sling at home from around 20 weeks is so you can feel the positions long before labour begins.

Your prenatal flows, your favourite upright movements, the positions that open your pelvis and help your baby rotate… all of that becomes familiar in your body.

By the time labour arrives, it’s muscle memory.

You won’t be analysing, you’ll be instinctively choosing what feels good and that’s exactly how it should be for birthing women.

Your body already knows how to give birth, this just gives it more ways to move and more space to work with your baby.

30/12/2025

My most popular post of 2025, with over 9K views and 67 saves.

To KICO or not to KICO?
Want to nerd out with me?

I support a lot of unmedicated births and I really watch intuitive movement…it’s rarely knees inwards, ankles out.

KICO (named by the Naked Doula) as a name is a little misleading - if the knees touch, you’re losing the effect. It’s known in the biomechanics world as internal rotation of the femurs (IRF - not as sexy a name)!

It marginally increases the outlet space from side to side BUT the most modifiable space is from front to back & this is achieved by sacral nutation & helped along by untucking the pelvis.

Even that old hospital position of knees up to the chest, in external rotation, is just giving space on the bed for the sacrum to move into nutation & while it closes the outlet space from side to side, it opens it from front to back.

While external rotation of the femurs (knees apart, ankles in) does give more room at the pelvic inlet from side to side, deep hip flexion gives more space at the outlet, from front to back, which is the most modifiable space. So, it’s not as straightforward as deep squats = inlet opener.

Also, knees apart (but no rotation of the femurs) is also a side-to-side outlet opener.

I don’t usually suggest anything when my clients are pushing, unless it goes on for a long time.

If you made it this far, thanks for nerding out with me.

Want to know more? Come and study with me.
Roma x

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