05/01/2026
“Deepen” has quietly emerged as my new word for 2026.
Deepen my relationship with myself
Deepen trust - in myself, my body, the way, life’s embrace
Deepen understanding
Deepen connections
Deepen my craft
Deepen my joy for life
Deepen rest
I have been experiencing a deep ache, a longing to slow down and turn inwards. Rest, recovery, balance, self-compassion. Recognising when my body is at its limit. Striving for relief.
I tend to oscillate between craving routine, deep rest and slowness, and cultivating unbridled aliveness with immense momentum. I love to plan, and sometimes choose planning and future-thinking as my restful activity. Other times I cannot think beyond this evening.
Despite being in the depths of midwinter, a time of hibernation and rest, I do still enjoy the turning of the Gregorian calendar and the opportunity it provides for reflection. Reflecting on what has become and what has not, what we’d like to take forward and what we’d like to leave behind.
2025 gave me so much perspective, so much change, so much grief, joy, understanding, self-reliance and change of pace. I am still processing many things. Still recovering from loss of various kinds and embracing gains of unexpected heights.
So I welcomed the new year and its vibrant skies with hesitance mixed with grace, reluctance mixed with gratitude. I’m excited for what may be over the horizon and I’m also filled with intent to slow the heck down and rest as priority.
Dismantling perfectionism, redirecting worry, embracing burnout recovery. Deepening rest. Deepening the hugs I give myself. Did I mention rest yet?
I have things I want to do and I have opportunities to pursue, and I also have a neurodivergent mind to take care of and a loyal body to cradle as she diligently pushes through.
I suppose I’m succumbing to the discovery of being autistic, and to the reality of being in the depths of autistic burnout. I am learning to truly listen to my body’s cues and hear what she really needs. ‘Tis hard indeed. But peacefully exciting.
I look forward to deepening my understanding of myself and further attuning to my needs. Right now, I think that might be rest. 🖤 🌅