18/11/2020
I had a rather interesting conversation this morning about trying to be a better person by being there for more people, and retaining more relationships, and just participating in people's lives more actively. This seems like a very standard template for the type of advice that gets given a lot. And I believe this kind of advice should come with its own disclaimer. It is toxic without context.
I don't think anybody is perfect and while we are all works in progress, it is important that we remember there is no need to be a "better person" without finding out what it exactly entails in a given context first. In the context of my morning conversation though I feel extremely comfortable saying,"NO." "No, thank you. I'm good. And I am not willing to turn myself into a wishing well for people's affirmations because I don't believe I have the bandwidth to accommodate that." There is no shame is declaring the point at which you want to stop stretching yourself further, and there is no standard for what is acceptable, or outstanding. And there is absolutely no reasonable cause to make an effort at all to accommodate those that do not contribute to your growth or sustenance.
Your life is not a race of selflessness. It is an exercise in unlearning unhealthy selfless tendencies and nurturing your sense of self preservation. We live in an imperfect world, and we can only do our best. And in this life, an 'exceeds expectations' is a FINE grade!
Anyone who insists that you change can easily be asked to go pe*****te themselves. You could be polite if you like, I won't be.
