14/04/2022
*On the Trending Issue of Marriage, Domestic Violence & Divorce*
Ladies and Gentlemen, I think so much has been said here on these current trending matters. Here is the conclusion of the matter.
1. Marriage is ordained by God between male and female
2. Marriage is good. Do not allow the weakness of human beings make you hate what God ordained as good.
3. Do not rush into relationship and marriage based on the judgment of your emotions. Seek counsel and do a proper background check.
4. Watch and pray - “shine your eye well well.” Pray as if background checks do not matter; and balance with background check as if prayer does not matter. The two must work together.
5. Domestic Violence is a sin against God and against your spouse. Don’t contemplate violence and do not act violently against your spouse or any other person for that matter.
6. In the event of abuse, do not be silent. Depending on the degree of abuse speak up to the relevant authorities over your life - parents, church, disciplers, police and other law enforcement agencies. If the degree of abuse is threatening evacuate yourself from the place of abuse and seek godly counseling. Do not seek for divorce until the necessary grounds as permitted by the Holy Scriptures are fulfilled. Remember, God hates divorce; and He also hates abuse.
7. Do not hate the church because of the failure and experiences of individuals. The church is the body of Christ but it is made up of individuals who are fallible. Again, do not speak in a sweeping manner to deride and insult God’s servants - there are faithful servants of God who still uphold the truth of God in the Bible.
8. The church should not stigmatized those who have suffered divorce or are experiencing turbulence in their marriage and family. There should be a ministry towards church members in such condition. God is merciful, do not reduce the extent of his mercy. Prayerfully commit them to God for healing and help in life.
9. Ask God to help your abuser to change for good - do not give up on the covenant of marriage casually -Remember Ecclesiastes 5:1ff.
10. While you pray for change ask God to help you to forgive your abuser - forgiveness is a necessary biblical virtue.
11. Be available as a shoulder to those who are undergoing abuse and do not treat their experience with levity. Let them see you empathizing with them and not just making speeches.
12. In all things try not to sin against God, but carefully follow His commands and directions on marriage and family.
Dr. Paul Dajur
