28/03/2015
As we all know that the election is just a day ahead, there are categories of people we are going to meet on that day and i bring to you, the 10 types of people we are going to meet at the polling unit on election day;
1) The gentlemen/ladies
These are the types of people the will visit the polling unit just to fulfil their mission which is to vote peacefully and after that, go back to their home without any problem.
2) The Elders
These people(mostly men) are always between the age 70-80+ you will always find them sitting under a tree or any shaded area within the polling centre lecturing young men about the history of politics and how the country was going from bad to good and vice versa.
3) The I Too Know (ITKs)
These are the categories of people that you will see jumping from one place to the other as if they are INEC chairman.
You will never see them at rest, they can even go to the extent of teaching the INEC officials their job.
4) The Ushers
You will always see these categories of people on the queue looking very quiet but when they see a person trying to manipulate the queue, they will just walk to him/her and say something like “Oga, please go and join the queue at the back, we that have being on the line are not animals” they will never leave you until you do the needful.
5) The coordinators
They are more like the ushers but something special about them is that they are not always on the queue, if they see you trying to sneak into the queue, they will just appear from nowhere and say “hey” then point to the back, due to the fear that you don’t know the kind of person they are, you will port to the back with immediate effect.
6) The confused ones
Looking at them only, you will deduce that they are confused. They will always be looking as if someone is about to kidnap them or you will always see them asking questions silly like “Brother, will they collect this PVC from us after we are through?” or “Sister, shebi Buhari is the PDP presidential candidate?” They are always annoying.
7) The VIPs
These are always the big men of the hood, they will just drive down to the polling unit with their expensive ride and walk up to the INEC officials with a bottle water in their hands and do all the necessary stuffs and drive back home immediately
8) The spacebookers
I usually wonder if that’s what they do to make money on that day or they are just naturally mumus. They will be on the queue for hours and when it’s almost their turn to vote, someone will just come from nowhere and take their place then you will see them leaving.
9) The lookers/observers
Some are not even there to vote but to watch people arguing or fighting, you will always see them at alert with their phones getting ready to snap/video any funny or fist throwing event that takes place at the unit.
10) The fighters
Their own mission is to come and cause violence at the polling unit, they will mistakenly hit you or march you, instead of saying sorry, they will turn it to fight. Be careful when dealing with them
11) The traders
I usually love the courage of these people coz any opportunity they see, they will use it to promote their business.
You will see them early in the morning already offloading bags of pure water, snacks, groundnut, coolers of rice and other foods some will even bring their tables to roast boli(roasted plantains) at the polling unit, they are always desperate to make money.
12) The pickpocketers
One of my teachers defined them as “Dem no be thieves ooo but if they pass something go lost”. All they need to do is to just look at your pocket and they will explore everything inside it then you will see them passing your side 24/7 or trying to form familiarity with you, my brother be watchful or else they will steal you sef.
Nigerians abeg keep calm and vote wisely…
