06/08/2020
How do I talk to my child about coronavirus?
Knowing how to handle your child's questions and fears while you may be feeling anxious yourself about the ever-changing coronavirus situation can be hard. If you're struggling as a parent to explain what's going on in the world, along with shifting social distancing rules, you're not alone.
It’s important to be open about coronavirus with your children. As the British Psychological Society says in its guidance on talking to children about coronavirus: "Adults have a key role in helping children understand what is going on, providing information and reassurance, limiting media overload for children, and being aware of how their own reactions might impact on children."
Remember too that even babies and young toddlers can sense your anxiety. They may well pick up on a change in your behaviour if you become more distanced or distracted. Try to be conscious of how you’re behaving. Talk to them to reassure them even if they don’t understand fully what you’re saying and make sure you give them reassurance through lots of cuddles and affection too.
Keep things as normal as possible. Sticking to usual, predictable routines will make children feel safe and secure.
Here are some tips to help you help your little ones keep all the worrisome news in perspective:
• Don't dismiss your child's fears. While it's important not to plant fears in their minds that they don't already have, it's equally important to recognise that they may be feeling anxious about what they've heard about coronavirus, either on the news or from overhearing conversations. And because they don’t understand risk in the way adults do, they may be more worried than you realise.
• Ask them what they know and what they don't understand. Sometimes children may not mention things they're afraid of, but that doesn't mean they're not worried. It's always good practice to allow children the opportunity to talk about what scares them.
• Clear up misconceptions. Plenty of rumours and myths about the origins and details of the virus are circulating, such as how you catch it, the risk of catching it, and what happens if you get ill. It's important to share the truth with your kids and clear up misinformation.
• Like with most topics and children, the honest answer is the answer that will give the most comfort (a child can tell when you're beating around the bush or bending the truth). You can be prepared to clear things up or field the questions by being informed.
• Try to keep explanations simple and don’t add lots of detail.
• For younger children, use play, stories, dolls and toys to explain situations and help their understanding. And be aware of what they might be trying to express through their own play. They may find it hard to put their worries into words so instead may draw about them, or act scenes out with their toys.
• Assure them that adults are working to keep us all safe. There are lots of good news stories about people helping one another and reports highlighting the measures being taken to stop the spread of the virus. Sometimes children need to be reminded of this.
• Don't underestimate the power of hugs and cuddles. Non-verbal reassurance can go a long way. Children may not know to ask for physical reassurance, so pay attention to cues that it's time for a good, reassuring hug, or cuddle on the couch in front of a funny film or good book.
• Help them understand cause and effect. Washing their hands and keeping two metres away from everyone outside their household, even friends and family, will stop people catching the virus. This will help them understand why they have to distance.
• When you do go out, show them how to keep two metres away from others. Show them how to wash their hands properly using soap and water. Twenty seconds is the magic number, as long as it takes to sing Happy Birthday twice. You can't tell if someone has coronavirus by looking at them, the same way a surface can look and feel clean but still have germs on it. So stress basic hygiene and practise it with them.
The coronavirus story and how we're responding to the pandemic is still changing. Your children will hear more about it from all angles. Being there for them with a willing ear, clear information, and love will help them – and help you weather the storm.
Richard Gilham
