11/01/2020
Dear Diary IV; When Love Finally Left.
When love finally left, the waning melodies laid to rest its keys and notes. The torch at the end of the tunnel got buried in the dusk, soothing words that bridged our passion melted down to the flowing waters.
Silence took the stage, no fingers flipped a page when there was nothing to write anymore. The story had reached its sour climax and no scene to make onwards. The chapters of posterity had ripped itself off the books; potent covers, zero leafs, inkless pens, frail hinges…
One after the other, memories fell off the branches of our yesterdays, the beauty of our giggles withered in the calmest breeze, our intertwined sense of union broke apart like slavery and redemption.
When love finally left, I buried my love for love but returned from the graveyard, with pieces of memories still lurking in my mind. They were seedlings, finding their way to sprout once more but had no spirit to water them. They were lives trying to live again but no air to feed them life.
I smiled, feeding my mind once more with these pieces that refused to leave no matter how wide I opened the doors of my heart to make them exit. No matter how deep they tried to seduce the grounds of my life to build roots, I uprooted them.
But then, love sent a letter while away.
When love finally left, shehe said she was finally healed from her past hurts. She longer held on to the shackles of her last breakup. Her heart was free from grudges held against the last dude who pricked her heart with mistrust. Her smiles blossomed in every word in the letter, her joy glittered between lines, and her hope soared beyond her salutation.
She said she wouldn’t awaken love any longer when she isn’t ready.
She had guarded her heart this time, keeping her soul to distinguish between love and mere infatuations, feelings and pure intentions.
It lit up my smile and roused my delight. But love said ‘I no go do again’. She wasn’t ready to tread the path once more. Love beseeched that I don’t get livid for her reasons.
So I wrote love my final letter. It read:
“Dear Love,
Well, I appreciate the mention of my input as said. I understand and respect that if you're not ready. Or if you are and I'm not the right person you think you deserve. It's your own decision to pick a flower for your garden.
However, I believe temporal distance isn't a barricade when two people really want to build a bond that stands the hands of time. Even in marriage, a partner could be gone for a while. And that doesn't break the marriage. But the bond sustains it, like axes holding together two coordinates. It's not ‘gonna’ be a case of forever staying farther apart from each other like the West from the North, when posterity bears eternal moments of unison. If there's love, if there's vision, if there's trust, if there's communication, distance doesn't pose a threat.
And maybe yeah, you believed in these things earlier on, in the days of our fiery love when you asserted we being apart isn't a restriction for our love. Whatever influenced you to defy the past assertion and your current position, I can't tell. I respect that. Quite contradicting to ask if it's the same person I’ve loved all this while. You believed distance wasn’t a delinquent. It won my heart to know I had found the right one.
But I guess sh*t happens.
Inasmuch as your 'distance' excuse could be flawed, I can't push you... not anymore. I can’t paint a portrait on a canvas immune to beauty.
Maybe one or many of these are elements you haven't identified to hold on to yet but I hope you do someday.
But once again, when one person among the two, doesn't hold the same thought, they can't be pressured against their will. You define what best suits for you. I respect that.
If you care to know, in your protective agenda not to get hurt anymore, I've never had any intention to cause you pain. Sometimes, in our quest to protect ourselves, we miss the good things that could come in… our doors are tight, shut, and blocked from receiving angels.
At least I prayed that God heals your wounds, and He did. It tells me, He truly heals and quenches the thirst of souls.
Hey, thanks for everything, yeah. I cherish the memories at least before they possibly fade someday. It's been a nice time. I tried. I did my best to make it work as it would in generations before us who did so to make it through years, than our generation that's quick to break up.
I tried. I did my best to make you realize that I still love you despite your uncertainties. I did my best to keep the fire burning under the rain. I guess this downpour is too heavy for the blaze in my hand. I did my best and learnt my lesson.
Yeah, I actually intended to break the long silence if we could work it out on the way forward. But I guess you had prepared a response for me even before I could speak them.
All the same, thank you. Thank God IF you're healed now. Wishing you the best.”
Love came, love decided to leave, love finally left.
© 2019 Eben Ace
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