29/08/2019
This past few months, I've heard of many cases of su***de and yesterday one of my 2nd cousin was a victim of su***de.
I hope my story could help to those who are sufferring from depression right now.
One of my closest friend pm me just this morning, tinanong niya q kung cnu ang nagpakamatay (nakita niya ang post ko), I told him 2nd cousin ko. He told me, alam mo ba kung cnu ang magaling na speaker para jan? Sabi q naman, sino kuya? He then answered, "ikaw, ksi ang tindi ng pinagdaanan mo pero hindi ka nagpa tinag, wala pa xa katiting ng pinagdaanan mo ang pinagdaanan ng nagpapakamatay". Tama nga naman siya, I've suffered so much pain since last year (2018), non stop trials and never ending challenges, but until now I'm still fighting.
June 7,2018 nanganak aq premature (34wks) via ceasarian section. Sobrang daming complication ng baby ko, She was admitted at NICU right after my delivery she suffered from CONGENITAL HEART DISEASE (ATRIAL SEPTAL DEFECT, VENTRICULAR SEPTAL DEFECT, and PATENT DUCTUS ARTERIOSUS). She also have cleft palate.
Syempre bilang isang ina, yun na ang pinakamasakit na naramdam ko xa buong buhay q, sobrang sakit na makita yung anak ko na nahihirapan xa loob ng nicu na sobrang daming naka attached xa kanya para mapahaba ang buhay niya.4 months siyang admitted xa NICU, nakikita q siya araw2x pero sobrang sakit ksi d q man lng mahawakan (bawal pumasok xa nicu pero minsan naaawa ang nurses xa akn kaya binibigyan ako ng chance ma lapitan c baby kahit 30mins per day lng). Umiiyak aq pag ako lng mag isa, pero xa harap ng maraming tao ang tapang2x ko ksi ayoko na kinakaawaan ako.
Kinailangan n baby na ma operahan, pinaprepare kmi almost 1M ksi kailangan e transfer c baby xa Philippine Heart Center via Air Ambulance pero cyempre hindi nangyari yun ksi wala naman kaming isang milyon. Nag fund raising aq (gogetfunding) pero sobrang kulang talaga.
Habang tumatagal lalong lumalala ang condition n baby, her Cardiologist suggested na atleast mag PDA ligation na lng muna, para mabawasan lng ang problema. 350k ang pina prepare xa amin, at yun nga pasok xa budget, umabot naman ng 350k ang naipon ko from go get funding at tulong ng mga relatives and friends.
August 2018 PDA LIGATION was done successfully. Thank God, sobrang nabuhayan kmi ng loob. Pero d pa pala tapos ang laban namin, September 2018 lalong lumalala co dition n baby, sobrang dami ng complications.
We did our very best para ma dugtungan ang buhay niya pero wala eh, God has a bigger plan for her.
October 9, 2018 binawi na n Lord c baby xa amin, ayaw na niyang mahirapan pa c Moana.
Namatay c baby ang hospital bill namin nasa 1.2M, imagine saan kmi kukuha niyan?Bukod pa diyan my doctors fee pa kmi na babayaran ksi 9 ang specialist niya and yes until now we are paying the remaining hospital bills.
Many are asking panu q nakayanan, panu q nalampasan. Ang sagot q lng lagi, di naman cguro ebibigay n Lord to kung d q kaya.
Di pa natapos dun yung trials namin 😢
April 2019, nabuntis ulit aq pero June nakunan nanaman ako 😢😢😢 Doble ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Human as I am cyempre tinanong q rn c Lord, bakit, bakit ako Lord? Until now, di q pa alam ang sagot, sobrang daming WHYs and WHAT ifs, pero hindi aq sumusuko. KAKAYANIN Q TO, tutulongan ako ng dalawang anghel ko 👼👼
I WILL WIN THIS FIGHT NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES 💪💪
HABANG MAY BUHAY MAY PAG ASA, KAYA LABAN LNG MGA KAPATID.
***de
