08/14/2026
Japanese beetles…They are the devil…I am sure of it! They started off my bad day. I was out in the back garden trying to bag as many of the devils as I could and suffocate the life out of them, all while not watching my feet. Meanwhile, a dastardly den of yellow jackets attacked my croc-clad chubby ankles, getting in several good stings before I could fling my fashionable footwear and run, bag of beetles in hand.
After applying Bactine liberally, I went back to tending my chicken ‘n dumplings and managed to splash my face with boiling chicken broth. Undeterred, I held an ice pack on my face while I stirred, and alternated spraying a little more Bactine on my increasingly puffy ankles.
With that task accomplished, I turned to folding July 4th buntings that came in with lots of ear wigs, crickets, six spiders and one fuzzy centipede-looking creature…all of which I squashed, doing quite a jig stepping, dodging, sweating and stomping. Then I allowed I had just enough time to walk Buddy, before I had to run up and get a shower, and make it to city council meeting.
We made it, only to learn the meeting had been rescheduled. While discussing the rescheduling with our neighbor, a beautiful sight …a flock of Canadian geese passed overhead and I heard “schplatt”…right beside me, close enough to splash up my leg, past my puffy ankle. Yep, to finish my streak of luck, I had been schat on by a passing loose-boweled goose.🫣
