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Reading To Heal, Roseland, Dorchester, Boston, MA (2026)

10/25/2026

We talk so much about love, yet how often do we truly experience it?

Sometimes, what we call love is mixed with desire, attachment, and the need to be loved in return. We want others to understand us, meet our expectations, and make us feel complete.

But when the ego is in control, love becomes difficult because we are too occupied with ourselves to truly see the other person.

Osho reminds us that love, meditation, and godliness share something in common: they become possible when the ego falls away.

Perhaps love begins when we stop asking what we can get from someone and start seeing them beyond our own needs and expectations.

As Jesus said, “God is love.”

10/25/2026

When I look back at my relationships with the people I love, I realize that there are days when they are gentle, cheerful, and caring, bringing happiness into my life. On those days, they are like flowers in full bloom.

But there are also days when they become irritable, withdrawn, impatient, or behave in ways that hurt me.

I used to take these moments personally. I would wonder why they couldn't be a little more understanding, why they had to act that way, or why they couldn't be the person I knew and loved.

Over time, I've come to realize that I was only seeing the flowers, forgetting that each person has a garden of their own.

Behind their anger, there might be exhaustion. Behind their silence, there might be sadness they don't know how to express. And behind their impatience, there might be worries and struggles I know nothing about.

Understanding someone helps me see beyond the moment that hurts me. It reminds me that there is more to a person than what I see on the surface.

As Thich Nhat Hanh once said:

“We do not expect a person always to be a flower, we have to understand his or her gardens as well.”

The more I reflect on these words, the more I realize that love isn't just about appreciating people when they make us happy. It's also about being willing to understand them when things aren't so easy.

And perhaps this understanding begins with a simple pause: instead of immediately reacting to what someone does, I can take a moment to wonder what they might be going through.

After all, I have my own garden, too. There are days when I bloom, and days when I struggle. I hope the people I love will try to understand me on those difficult days, rather than judge me by them.

Maybe we can offer one another the same kindness.

Not expecting each other to bloom every day, but learning to understand the gardens we each carry within us.

10/25/2026

The next time someone blames you, criticizes you, or says something that hurts your pride, try this:

Don't rush to defend yourself.

Just for a few seconds, pause.

Don't immediately explain why they're wrong.
Don't rush to prove that you're a good person.
And don't start preparing the perfect comeback in your head. 😄

Instead, notice what happens inside you.

Maybe you feel a sudden urge to fight back.

Maybe your chest tightens, your face gets hot, or your mind starts listing all the reasons you have every right to be upset.

Just observe.

Notice how much you want to restore the image of yourself that feels threatened.

And for a few seconds, allow that image to remain challenged.

You don't have to agree with the criticism.
You don't have to pretend it doesn't hurt.
Just see what happens when you don't immediately try to repair your self-image.

Eckhart Tolle suggests that when we allow this moment to happen without reacting, something surprising may emerge.

At first, we may feel smaller, as though we've lost something important.

But if we stay present with that discomfort, we may begin to notice a quiet space inside us.

And then comes an interesting question:

What if nothing essential about me has actually been diminished?

Someone may have criticized my work.
Someone may have misunderstood my intentions.
Someone may even have formed an unfair opinion of me.

But does that mean I have become less of a human being?

Do I really need to defend every image people have of me?

Or can I allow someone to think what they think without letting it determine how I feel about my own existence?

Tolle writes:

“Through becoming less (in the ego’s perception), you in fact undergo an expansion and make room for Being to come forward.”

This is what Jesus means when he says, “Deny yourself” or “Turn the other cheek.”

It's not about pretending that hurtful behavior is acceptable or allowing others to mistreat us. It's about letting go of the need to defend our ego at every turn, so we can respond from a deeper place of awareness rather than react out of wounded pride.

So, try this the next time your pride gets hurt.

Pause.
Feel the discomfort.
Notice the urge to defend yourself.

And for a moment, don't do anything to make yourself feel bigger again.

You can still speak up when necessary. You can correct a misunderstanding, stand up for yourself, or set a boundary. This isn't about accepting mistreatment.

It's about discovering whether you can do those things without needing to protect your ego at every turn.

Because sometimes, when we stop fighting so hard to preserve the image of who we think we are, we discover that we haven't lost ourselves at all.

Perhaps real strength is not always about proving that we are someone, but about being at peace even when we don't need to prove it.

10/25/2026

When you feel hurt,
ask yourself:

“Who is hurt?”

When you feel the need
to prove yourself right, ask:

“Who needs to be right?”

Look closely.

Can you find the one
you are trying so hard to protect?

Or can you only find
thoughts, feelings,
and an image of who you think you are?

Ramana Maharshi said:

“If you seek the ego,
you will find it does not exist.”

10/25/2026

Ego is the image of ourselves that we create and become attached to.

It is an idea, not a physical thing we can simply throw away.

When we begin this journey, the first step is to recognize the ego.

The next is to understand it.

Understanding the ego doesn't mean always trying to defeat it. It means recognizing when it is influencing the way we see things and respond to life.

Freedom doesn't begin when we finally succeed in eliminating the ego, but when we no longer feel the need to believe or act on everything it tells us.

10/25/2026

Back in college, I had a secret crush on a girl.

I tried to make myself more attractive, adjusted myself to fit what I thought she wanted, and kept hoping that one day she would return my feelings.

In my mind, I was practically preparing for a love story. Unfortunately, she hadn’t agreed to be part of the script. 😄

In the end, she turned me down.

At the time, it felt disappointing. I wondered what was wrong with me and what I could have done differently.

Looking back now, I can smile at that younger version of myself. I had spent so much energy trying to become someone she might love that I forgot one simple thing: love isn’t something we can earn by constantly reshaping ourselves to please someone else.

Byron Katie once said, “Every time someone rejects me I've been spared.”

I find that a beautiful way to look at rejection. It doesn’t mean we won’t feel hurt, or that every closed door is secretly a blessing. It simply means that someone’s decision not to choose us doesn’t diminish our worth.

Sometimes, rejection saves us from spending years chasing someone who doesn’t feel the same way. Sometimes, it helps us see how much of ourselves we’re willing to abandon just to be loved.

And sometimes, it’s simply life reminding us that not everyone we like will like us back. That’s okay. Even the most wonderful person in the world isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. 😄

We don’t have to be chosen by everyone. We don’t have to turn ourselves into someone else’s ideal person.

We can feel disappointed, let go, and keep walking.

Looking back, perhaps that girl didn’t take anything away from me. She simply wasn’t meant to be part of my story.

And maybe that was enough.

Sometimes, being rejected isn’t the end of a beautiful love story. It’s the beginning of learning not to abandon ourselves just to be loved.

10/24/2026

You and I, we all make mistakes at some point in our lives.

Sometimes we make the wrong decisions, hurt someone we love, or go through things that don't turn out the way we hoped.

That is the first arrow.

The pain of what has happened is real. We may feel sad, disappointed, or wish we could turn back time and do things differently.

But often, we don't stop there.

We keep replaying the past in our minds. We blame ourselves for what we did, regret what we didn't do, and wonder why we couldn't have made a better choice.

“If only I had known…”
“Why did I do that?”
“How could I have been so foolish?”

Without realizing it, we begin to hurt ourselves all over again.

This is the second arrow.

We cannot always change what has happened, but we can choose whether to keep punishing ourselves for it.

Of course, we need to learn from our mistakes. If we've hurt someone, we can try to make things right. If we've made a poor decision, we can carry its lesson with us.

But we don't have to carry the guilt forever.

We are human, and being human means sometimes getting things wrong, even when our intentions are good.

So, when you find yourself looking back with regret, try to be a little kinder to yourself. You were doing the best you could with the understanding you had at that time.

You can acknowledge your mistakes without defining yourself by them. You can learn from the past without continuing to live in it.

What happened may have caused you pain, but you don't have to keep adding to that pain today.

Sometimes, healing begins when we put down the second arrow and allow ourselves to move forward with a little more understanding and compassion.

10/24/2026

I used to try to forgive the people who had hurt me.

But it was only forgiveness on the surface.

Deep down, I was still carrying the old pain. The same stories kept replaying in my mind. I remembered what they had done, what they had said, and how unfair it all felt.

I told myself I should let go, that holding on to resentment was only hurting me.

Yet the more I tried to force myself to forgive, the more I realized that something inside me was still holding on.

It wasn't until much later that I began to understand why.

I was trying to create a certain inner state through willpower, without truly seeing what was happening within me.

I wanted to be free of the pain before I had really understood how I was keeping it alive.

Eckhart Tolle once wrote:

“Don't try to let go of the grievance. Trying to let go, to forgive, does not work. Forgiveness happens naturally when you see that it has no purpose other than to strengthen a false sense of self, to keep the ego in place. The seeing is freeing.”

These words helped me look at forgiveness differently.

Perhaps the first step isn't to tell ourselves that we must forgive, but to become aware of what we're still holding on to.

The old memories.
The need for someone to admit they were wrong.
The hope that, somehow, replaying the story one more time will finally make the pain go away.

When we begin to see these things clearly, without judging ourselves for feeling them, something may slowly begin to change.

We realize that what happened in the past is one thing, but continuing to relive it in our minds is another.

This doesn't mean what happened was acceptable. Nor does it mean we must reconcile with those who hurt us.

It simply means we can begin to care for our own pain without allowing the past to define our present.

I'm still learning this myself.

And I've come to feel that forgiveness isn't always something we have to make happen.

Sometimes, it begins when we no longer need to keep telling the old story to ourselves.

Perhaps freedom comes not from forcing ourselves to forgive, but from seeing clearly what we have been holding on to—and gently allowing ourselves to move beyond it.

10/24/2026

There are many different ways to meditate, but for me, the one that resonates most is simply observing my own mind.

I don't try to stop my thoughts or force my mind to become quiet. I simply notice what's happening within me.

Sometimes my mind wanders into the past, replaying old memories. Other times, it rushes into the future, worrying about things that haven't even happened.

I used to get caught up in these thoughts without realizing it. Now, I'm learning that I can notice a thought without having to believe it, and feel an emotion without immediately reacting to it.

Osho once said:

“Except witnessing, I don’t teach anything else. So just witness your mind and the meditation will be happening.”

I find this idea liberating. Meditation doesn't have to mean fighting with our minds or trying to become someone different.

We can simply observe our thoughts with a little more awareness and a little less judgment.

The mind may continue to speak, but we don't have to follow every thought or believe every story it tells.

Sometimes, the simple act of witnessing is enough to help us return to ourselves.

10/24/2026

When I decided to leave my job at a government agency, my family, friends, and almost everyone around me thought I was making a crazy decision.

They kept asking me:

“Why would you give up a stable job, a good income, and relatively short working hours to pursue such an uncertain life?”

At the time, I stayed quiet.

Not because I didn't have an answer, but because I didn't know how to explain something they might find difficult to understand.

Deep down, I simply felt that the job wasn't right for me.

From the outside, I had everything many people were looking for. But inside, I knew I couldn't keep living that way just because it looked like a good life to everyone else.

Of course, I had doubts and fears, too. Leaving a secure job wasn't easy, and I couldn't predict what would happen next.

But I began to realize that staying somewhere just to maintain the image of a successful, sensible person could come at a cost I wasn't willing to ignore.

Eckhart Tolle once wrote:

“Living up to an image that you have of yourself or that other people have of you is inauthentic living.”

These words remind me that we can spend years trying to become the person others expect us to be.

We may choose a career because it earns respect, stay on a familiar path because everyone approves of it, or hide our doubts because we're afraid of disappointing the people we love.

And sometimes, we become so focused on meeting those expectations that we stop asking ourselves a simple question:

Is this really the life I want to live?

I'm not saying that leaving a stable job is the right choice for everyone. Stability matters, responsibilities matter, and not every uncomfortable feeling means we need to walk away.

But I believe there's a difference between choosing a life because it genuinely matters to us and choosing it simply because we're afraid of what others will think if we choose differently.

We don't always need everyone to understand our decisions. Sometimes, we need to understand ourselves well enough to take responsibility for them.

Looking back, I realize that the hardest part wasn't explaining my decision to other people. It was learning to trust what I felt inside without needing their approval to make it valid.

Perhaps living authentically begins when we stop asking, “What kind of life will make others think I'm doing well?” and start asking, “What kind of life can I honestly call my own?”

Reading To Heal

10/25/2026

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