07/19/2026
After years of standing around looking fabulous… I’ve decided it’s time to retire. 💁♀️
Hi, I’m Monica (but my friends call me Miss Allure).
For years, I’ve faithfully served as the official greeter, security guard, and eye candy. At one point, I even had a waiting list of people wanting to take me home!
Some of my proudest achievements include:
• Convincing people I was a real person (yes, I’ve actually been handed IDs).
• Receiving more compliments than the human employees. Sorry, y’all. 🤷♀️
• Never calling in sick.
• Never being late.
• Never complaining.
• Keeping my hair perfect through every season.
I’m a 5-foot-tall, thick, hard plastic bodybuilding mannequin with years of experience standing still and looking amazing. While I’m retiring from the workforce, I’m ready to begin my next chapter as the centerpiece of your man cave, gym, business, boutique, game room, or wherever someone appreciates true talent.
💵 Adoption Fee: $500 CASH
If you’ve always wanted the employee of the year without paying payroll taxes, I’m your girl.
📩 Send a message if you’d like to give this retired legend a new home.
Serious inquiries only. I may be plastic, but my standards are high.
