11/04/2023
OF COYOTES, SHARKS & FEAR! This is a TRUE STORY!
© 2023 Bruce David Justinen
In our part of town, we have had gangs running roughshod over our neighborhood in the South Sound of Puget Sound, including here in rural Olympia.
I know you are shocked at reading this, even those who have lived here for decades in the “country” just outside Lacey and Olympia, WA.
It has come up in our neighborhood blog that several days ago one of our nice, proper, ladies of the neighborhood was chased home by a rude, gang-loving bitch.
Yes, we are being plagued by these gangs who think they run the place. When they go by we cross over to the other side of the street while they eyeball us.
In one of these coyote gangs, there’s a female coyote who’s decided she wants to make friends with our pal, Sarah or possibly it’s her two small, fat dachshunds. So, a few days ago this coyote chick decides to turn around and started following Sarah towards her home. So, Sarah picks up the pace and it quickly became more like a chase, right up to the door and of course by this time, she had grabbed up her two little puppies, leash and all, and held them in her quivering arms.
She then slowly backed through the door as this s**g gave her that “you have two and you only need ONE!” LOOK!
Shaken and crying, she asked her husband to look outside. He opened the door, and instantly stumbled back in fear. Ms Coyote is waiting and kind of growl chuckles at him, there she was, less than a foot away. She was leaning back against the door frame, having a smoke, and offering him who knows what? OK, I just made that part up! Well, he told that little… they weren’t very nice things, to hit the road, yelled something impolite, and she left. This part is true again.
But now I am letting the facts get in the way of the real story here.
It turns out that Sarah went on her neighborhood blog and expressed her fear.
It wasn’t long before a few, “I actually know less than I think I know,” started to bully Sarah about how she really shouldn’t be afraid of coyotes.
So, a coyote that chased you to your front door and wanted to make foodies of your puppies? What you really needed to do is be more assertive, open the door, and in your best teacher’s voice say, "Mr. Coyote, the principal called and he wants to see you in his office RIGHT NOW!!!" Oh, yeah, that doesn’t work anymore either. Just ask a teacher.
I am, of course being delightfully sarcastic. In the world today, quite often, other people are frustrated that you don't see and feel things the same way they do. We are not all afraid of the same things or even in the same way, are we?
I have been a professional scuba diver for over 45 years. I have spent thousands of hours in oceans all over the world. I have spent hundreds of hours with 300 to 400 sharks of many, many species of sharks in different situations from 1 to schools of sharks as big as 12 feet. I was never even a little bit afraid, OK, maybe a couple of times but it was maybe a little nervous but never terrified. They are too fast for you to ever be terrified. Ask me sometime.
Now if my wife or I had been attacked and I had had to beat one or more of them off with my snorkel or camera maybe I would feel differently! But who am I to tell anybody how THEY should feel based on MY experience?
I know a lot about sharks, the majority of them are like big golden retrievers, have big teeth like golden retrievers, have the disposition of a golden retriever if left alone; and you have no need to fear them. They are surrounded by their natural food source which is typically 6 feet away or less.
You, of course, taste like crunchy Head n Shoulders and no thanks!
Are there a few shark bullies?
Sure, just like there are the guys that shoot up bowling alleys and schools! The biggest difference is that sharks don’t have AR-15s and large capacity magazines and with the growth of obese folks, they are full usually after one, they are not crazy. Typically, when they find out that you taste like a dandruff shampoo crunch they go yuck, spit you out, and move on!
Sarah and those that fear something that no one else can understand, I want you to know that I understand. It’s our secret, don’t even mention it to me. I am also scared of something in the animal kingdom and that you may not understand – I would rather meet and mess with a 12 foot Tiger shark in Kona’s harbor than wake up and find that I have a mouse in my room. It is irrational, illogical, makes no sense but the very idea terrifies me. Let me explain.
When I was in college, we were very poor and I had to fly back from home in British Columbia to a small college in Wisconsin the day after Christmas. Flights were very expensive back then so to get one that saved my family over $200 was a big deal. But school didn't start until 10 days later. Someone picked me up, drove me to the dormitory and let me in.
No one was around, it was snowing hard with 2 feet on the ground, the outside lights were dark, I was lonely and fell asleep with the tears of self-pity. I woke up shortly thereafter to the noise of a chainsaw, w**d eater, and the high pitch screeching of the hounds of hell.
A Norwegian mouse, obvious to any intelligent observer, was carrying a large flashing hammer. He was small in stature, but mighty in destructive abilities with the powers of THOR.
He had pillaged, desecrated, violated and then taste-tested and finally pooped on my 10 day supply of homemade sandwiches and, gasp, ALL of my HOSTESS Fruit Pies. And it was only the beginning. I was alone with this bully for 10 days as he toyed, victimized, and destroyed all of my belongings.
When we travel now, many decades later, and I hear a scurry or a rustle in the night when we stay at a motel, the 6 or the RITZ, I head for the car. But I still tremble, I just can’t help myself. How I wish I was shark diving.
Be Safe!
