11/14/2020
SINGLES...SINGLES...SINGLES!!!!!
My mind has been on being single a lot this morning because my goal is to one day have a happy and exclusive relationship. I have been thinking to myself, just what part do I play in the relationships that I've lost and what can I do to stop that from moving forward with me.
One of the things that my intuition has alerted me to is the fact that because we have trust issues in life our trust issues in our love lives are ten times greater,
What we fail to realize is most of our trust issues are due to EGO. We ask, If I allow myself to open up to this person that I have an interest in will they betray me? We become so consumed with those thoughts that we actually manifest the mistrust.
So let's go back to the self analyzing. Instead of first asking yourself what is my part in ruining past relationships, let's start with what do I want from a relationship? Write it down then compare that list to what you had accepted in the past and cross off the intolerance. List number two, Honestly write a list of your faults in your past relationships. Even if you have to go back and ask a few of your old mates do it so that you can view how others see you as well as how you see yourself. This will be a walk of shame in a sense if you allow yourself to accept what is being said as a learning tool. Some of you will not but that just means that the path that you choose to take will be longer than you want. Don't worry Karma will bring it back around to you as many times as you like.
Ok now this is how ego sets in as far as trust is concerned. Let's take for example your finances. There have been many times when I have said to myself, Let me get my s**t together so that that won't be an issue in my relationship. Well, can you tell me exactly who has their s**t together so that I can ask them how long did it take to do that because I'm lonely now. Ok , of course we all have things going on in our lives that may of course bring a strain on the relationship but should we allow ourselves to suffer and not have one? Is that our punishment to ourselves for not being who we think we should be? We are always going to want to be a better version of ourselves, who's to say that allowing that relationship to happen and you both coming together won't be the solution that you're looking for to solve the getting your life together problem.
Think about when you were a kid. Not a teenager but a kid. That age when nothing mattered. In this day and time that age would probably be three or under. We learn that faults of the world pretty quickly nowadays. At the age of two or three though we don't care about how someone views us. That becomes a learned habit or an inherited trait. We build sand castles and watch them fall down and laugh and realize we can do it all over again. When we get just a tad bit older though, then we begin to be embarrassed because we didn't make the three pointer in front of the girl that we're interested in or because we didn't have the latest version of whatever name brand was out at that time. The flip side to that however, is to think back on that time and try to remember when you finally came in contact with that girl that watched you from the bench did she care about you missing that shot or did she care more about how you felt about missing that shot? Or, was that boy impressed with the girl who had on the latest name brand but had no ass to fill it out or was he more impressed in how you wore your clothes just right for him to see those curves when you walked pass and was able to let him get a whiff of how pretty you smelled. If it didn't quite turn out that way then either that person wasn't for you or it was because that is when you allowed ego to take control and began missing out on some life changing moments. It was at that time that someone should have sat you down and said it's okay. It is ok that you didn't make that shot we can make them all but you look sexy as hell out there trying to give it your all. It's ok that you don't own the latest styles and brands because you are beautiful and I prefer that over a pair of jeans or shoes anyway. Your gift to impress may not have been in those areas. You may have been winning people over because you were smart as hell and they admired that and you may have admired them because of the way they kept themselves up. Thing about it is if you both gave each other a chance you could have worked together to share your assets and build. That was nice how I brought that back to the future wasn't it?
So if you didn't know that then well now you have a chance to get it right. It will take more time of course. You will have to fight through all those inherited traits that really don't mean s**t but a judgement or opinion and who cares about the next person's opinion if it's not a benefit to your success? We all have downfalls, nobody is perfect so who cares what the next person thinks! Nine times out of ten they have an opinion of you because in some way it is a reflection of themselves.
Find that person that says it's ok for you to lean on their shoulder for rest when you're going through and stop allowing yourself to run away. Communicate with your mate even if it's only to tell them... Bare with me I have a few things to work out. You don't have to however, substract love from the equation because the time isn't right. The time will never be right in your eyes.
TO BE CONTINUED...
