09/02/2026
(tldr: Come see us to raise the vibes.)
Hear ye, Hear ye!
After a string of many years (nearly a decade) of extraordinarily high vibes, we were recently visited by Madam Courtney, who could barely spend even thirty seconds in our establishment.
While her failed attempt to self-seat her party at our female and q***r owned (gasp) counter-service restaurant was valiant, she scoffed and drew the line at the idea of reading a twelve foot menu (or even a provided paper menu). This was clearly a journey too far.
Before her swift exit, she greeted the miserable woman (owner) behind the bar with a loud announcement of “Weird Vibes!” to which Madame Courtney was met with “Same”!
(…truly an involuntary response when in the presence of a masterful vibe-inspector and someone who knows what should “represent Eureka”. I digress.)
Henceforth, may we encourage all former and future customers to visit and inspect our establishment for weird vibes that could lurk around every corner or on each menu item that Madam Courtney and her party never tried.
Just imagine: She never saw Sheba or Patrick Swayze or Danny. She never saw the FUNERAL HOME ROPES IN THE BATHROOM. She never had a Gold Dust Glizzy or a Muffaletta. She never even had a chance to see all our rad artwork made by ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS AND NOT AI SLOP. Sad. (Again, I digress.)
In conclusion dear friends, should you find our vibes low or poor on your next visit, please loudly announce it to the closest staff member.
With Weird Vibes,
MoJo & Blaire
