07/27/2025
It's been a very long time and I finally feel like I'm at a place where I'm in a peaceful mindset to be able to bring not only closure but a rebirth to The business I have spent a good portion of my life building.
Essentially I quite literally came to a place where I could no longer handle selling or making badge reels anymore.
My personal life took a straight nose dive down into the depths of what I would never wish on another woman or soul for that matter.
I had been living since 2010 in an abusive relationship that only got worse by the year.
In a lot of ways I feel like this business is what kept me sane through a lot of that.
However, as things progressed it was like I was corroding away on the inside.
I found myself in a vulnerable place where I was in survival mode.
It got to the point where I lost my sense of reality
Towards the latter part of that relationship I had someone who pretended to be a friend come into my life steal from me and manipulate me on a level I would not wish on my worst enemy all because they saw a gaping open wound that they could capitalize off of.
That was around the same time I had to stop making badges because I couldn't handle what was happening in my life.
I ended up getting a divorce that was life-saving however, I did not have the means to escape My living situation and I remember telling God I felt like I was a bird trapped in a cage. I looked capable but on the inside nobody could see that my emotional and psychological and spiritual wings were damaged and broken.
For anyone that's lived through repeated trauma abuse, infidelity and narcissism you understand.
However, It got to a point I never thought it could..
Right before my divorce was finalized
I became a barista at a local coffee shop
It felt like something I could handle.
My work family there treated me like family and it gave me a place where I felt safe.
It felt like a giant step in the right direction of trying to bring some stability to my life.
But nothing could prepare me for what my daughter told me in February and without filling in the blanks her father is now in jail and will be going to prison for quite a long time.
My work family helped me and her and my son escape and we fled him and now he is still awaiting sentencing.
At the time I lived in a mobile home that was falling apart and the floor was literally caving in because he never fixed anything. It was a manifestation of my literal life. My boss found a camper for $100 and we spent every waking hour after work to prepare it to make it livable and me and my kids are still under the graces of my work family as I am living on their property until the house that I now have possession of is livable once again. My church is working on a plan to try and make that happen as soon as possible.
The biggest thing is once he went to jail we
All could breathe and felt a sense of safety.
Our nervous systems are taking time to adjust to not having to react constantly.
Since then, survival mode has become a whole new level for me and I'm focused on trying to rebuild a life for me and my daughter and my older sons so we can heal from the trauma we all have been through.
Feels like I've been under the pressure cooker for quite some time. Unable to move barely crawling.
It's like going through the motions on the outside but having nothing left on the inside.
Day by day I have started to process and started to heal and decided that I was going to spend every spare moment I had trying to rebuild a new brand that could represent my life story.
It's feels like I'm rising from the ashes trying to turn The remnants of my pain and devastation into a beauty that I hope can shine to others and bring them hope.
God has helped me to survive and made impossible things possible throughout this whole ordeal. The stories of things that have happened over the last year.....I can only say they are book worthy and have served as an anchor of Hope in the most trying times.
And trying times is an understatement...
But I don't want to continue to talk about the abuse, about the betrayals, I don't want to talk about the absolute horrendous trauma pain ugliness, ashes and fire.
Right now I want to talk about what came out of the fire.
A new me.. a stronger me.
A safe me.
A capable me
A determination to not let what the locust have eaten stop me from planting a seed of Hope for me and my childrens future ...me.
A Royal Ruby.
Forged in the fires of affliction
Determined to live and breathe. Proverbs 31. If it's the last thing I do.
I want to say thank you to all the customers who
Have supported me throughout the years.
I'm truly sorry that I disappeared without explanation, but I hope this brings some closure
And understanding.
I'm not just trying to make money for my family. I'm trying to continue healing and I hope that my creations that I will post every so often on here will reflect My heart and the journey that I have lived through.
I am still a full-time barista at a local coffee shop and so this is going to be more of a place where I can debut things I'm working on here and there
And as life shifts and changes, hopefully be able to build up an online store again as well.
Right now I'm making t-shirts, hats cups, makeup and canvas bags ,and some certain style of badge reels. Although the old printer I used did break so I'm unable to make the classic badges until I get a new one. But I do plan little by little to build myself back up stage by stage.
I want to offer a little bit of everything but I want to focus heavily on making one of a kind things.
A lot of it will be faith-based and I also plan on offering a variety of designs that I hope will
Bring joy to people's lives.
Thank you for reading this and I look forward to
The future of creating and once again letting my creative light shine. I appreciate those of you who have followed me over the years and I look forward to the pleasure of making pretty things to share with you all once again.
God bless you all
Sincerely
Nina
Exodus 23:30
Little by little I will drive them out from before you, until you have increased, and you inherit the land.
Proverbs 31:24-25 She makes and sells fine linen garments, providing for her household and even supplying merchants. Furthermore, she is clothed with strength and dignity, and she faces the future with joy and assurance.
Isaiah 48:10
Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.
Psalm 90:15-17
Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us, the years in which we have seen evil. Let Your work appear to Your servants, and Your glory to their children. And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us; establish the work of our hands for us; yes, establish the work of our hands."
..she works willingly with her hands
Proverbs 31:13
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good; her candle goeth not out by night.
Proverbs 3:18
Who can find a virtuous woman?
For she is worth far more than Rubies.
Proverbs 31:10
