08/20/2023
In March my father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Once I got the news, everything slammed on brakes for me. I only had the capacity to focus on spending as much time with him as possible, & continue working my full time job to pay my bills & live indoors.
My dad & I were close. We shared a sense of humor, a love of sweets, and a thirst for learning. I don’t have the words to explain how much he meant to me. I have no regrets in my relationship with him, or putting my life & goals on pause to be with him at the end.
My father passed away on June 26th. I was with him, holding his hand as he took his final breath. The grief I’ve felt since is hard to explain. But along with the grief has been the stress of shepherding my family through their emotions & the actual work involved with the death of a loved one, which is intense.
On top of this I’ve been dealing with my own health, and had a breast lumpectomy two weeks ago. It was benign but high-risk of becoming cancer, & now I am deciding on the best next step.
The emotions are overwhelming, & at sometimes paralyzing. Losing my dad has left a gapping hole in my heart, & I’m working my way back to moving forward. It may take me some time to get my sea legs again, but I am not giving up! ☀️
