04/15/2018
If your lawn mower could talk….
Hello two legged person who follows me around everywhere I go. It is time we have a talk.
For years you have pulled my string and walked me in circles. Although I am very grateful we will be together again very soon, there are a few things you need to understand about me to enhance our relationship.
First, did you know my engine rotates over 3,000 times per minute? That is crazy fast – like your car on the interstate! The only reason I rotate so fast is because I have oil in my belly. Please be sure the oil is fresh and full and not black and low. Not too full because I’ll blow smoke and make things yucky for all of us.
Second, I love your smile when the neighbors praise the lawn after our walk. It makes my long wait worthwhile. Please be sure my blade is sharp and I am clean…uh, down there. So while you check out my blade, rinse me off too! I like to be clean and a cold shower helps me be ready for our next date.
There is so much more I could say but I shouldn’t leave without mentioning my diet. Just today you poured out the can of soda accidently left in the garage overnight. Probably because it doesn’t taste good after sitting for so long. Well, I’m no different. I just can’t tolerate drinking that stale gas you left in me during my winter vacation. It smells funny and makes me act goofy when it’s time to go. Please dump that old crud out and let’s start fresh! By the way, when the leaves start turning in October, I’ll be sure to remind you again. I just don’t eat anything during the winter. If left empty, I promise to be good when you pull my string in the spring.
Thanks for listening tall person! I am happy we are together again! Now, if we can get on with our walk please……..