05/28/2026
For the Sourdough Fansā¼ļø
šµ Bohemian Rhapsody (Sourdough Edition) šµ
(A playful bakery parody inspired by the style and structure of the classic song)
š¶
Is this the starter?
Is this just flour free?
Caught in fermentation,
No escape from bakeryyyyy š¶
Open your jar,
Look at the bubbles and seeeeā¦
Iām just a home baker,
Need simplicityā¦
Because itās feed-feed-rise, little high, little low,
Any way the dough goes doesnāt really matter to meeeeā¦
To meeeeeā¦
Mamaaaaā¦
Just killed a loafā¦
Over-proofed it on the counter,
Now it spreads instead of growsā¦
Mamaaaaā¦
Bread had just begunā¦
But now Iāve gone and burned the crust awayyyyā¦
Mama, ooohhhhhā¦
Didnāt mean to make you rye,
If Iām not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on, as if gluten really mattersā¦
Too late⦠my timerās goneā¦
Sends shivers down my spine,
Starterās hungry all the timeā¦
Goodbye everybody, Iāve got to kneadā¦
Gotta leave you all behind and bulk fermentttttā¦
Mamaaa ooohhhhā
(I donāt wanna fold!)
Sometimes wish Iād never started sourdough at alllllā¦
š¶ I see a little boule-uetto of a loaf! š¶
Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the stretch-and-fold?!
Thunderbolts and oven spring very very frightening me!
(Magnifico!)
Magnifico!
Magnifico-o-o-o-o!
Iām just a poor baker, nobody loves meā¦
āHeās just a poor baker from a poor pantry!ā
Spare him this starter monstrosity!
Easy crumb, airy crumb, will you let me bake?!
Bismillah! No! We will not let you bake!
(Let him bake!)
Bismillah! We will not let you bake!
(Let him bake!)
Will not let you bake!
(Let him bake!)
Never never never never let me bakeāOH OH OH OH!
So you think you can slash me and leave me to dry?!
So you think you can feed me then say āstarter diedā?!
Ohhhhh baby⦠canāt do this to me babyā¦
Just gotta get outā¦
Just gotta preheat right nowwwwwā¦
š¶ Nothing really mattersā¦
Anyone can seeā¦
Nothing really mattersā¦
Except hydration to meeeeeee⦠š¶
Any way the dough rises⦠š