06/30/2021
Plumage
Plumage is a 21 inch grapevine tree that has a number of colorful hummingbirds hovering over succulents, silk white Poppy Anemone, green mist Queen Anne's lace, and green dandelion pom poms. Unakite beads dot the tree in unexpected places. Vintage hummingbird brooches rest in or around moss covered nests. Green and white speckle-winged butterflies play off of the guinea fowl black and white feathers incorporated throughout the tree. Two psychedelic brown, white,and green butterflies add a bit of quirkiness. Hand-dipped hunter green and teal pheasant feathers surround the nests and the multi-feather plumage crown at the top of the tree.
Plumage became a gift to myself. The tree sat in my office for weeks. During that time, I made multiple attempts to create something with it but my heart just wasn't in it. I put it out in my garage so I didn't have to look at it anymore and wrote it off as a failure. Inside, I felt like a failure. All I wanted to do was sleep. Nothing held my interest anymore. As I started to isolate, I realized I was heading down a dark, deep hole... again.
I found the black and white spotted feathers as I was packing up what was left of my tree supplies. The more I looked at the feathers, the more ideas began to replace the painful, despondent thoughts that easily overwhelmed me each day. It took some time, but I brought the tree back into my office and in just a few hours, Plumage was born. Yes, I am talking about feathers and a butterfly tree here. I am also talking about my ongoing battle with depression.
I recognize that many are uncomfortable with any discussion about mental health. I know that crafting is not a cure for a disease that torments so many, but it has helped me. So, I share this in the hopes that it will inspire others who are in the midst of a struggle themselves. Try to find something that brings you joy. Paint, write, dance, sew, exercise, journal... You won't be great at whatever you choose all of the time, but keep trying. The things that bring you a sense of accomplishment, may also bring you a sense of much needed peace - even if those things are as silly as black and white spotted feathers and a completed butterfly tree.
DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor and I am not a therapist. I am sharing my personal experience, which may not be useful to anyone reading this. If you are thinking of self harm, please call The National Su***de Prevention Hotline at (800) 273-8255 (TALK). Also, Online Chatlines are available at IMalive.org and Lifeline Crisis Chat.