09/30/2026
🚨🚨 THREE SALES. ONE WEEKEND. ABSOLUTELY NO ADULT SUPERVISION. 🚨🚨
Campers, stretch your shopping arms, hydrate responsibly, and notify the household that you may return with sterling silver, a recumbent bicycle, seventeen vintage dresses, a shark tooth, and a glowing bowl.
We did not create this situation.
We are simply advertising it with unsettling enthusiasm.
This weekend’s Happy Camper Estate Sale Triathlon includes:
💎 HAMILTON FOREST: FANCY, FABULOUS & ONE DAY ONLY
Hamilton Forest woke up, put on the good jewelry, poured something into a crystal glass, and casually placed the sterling silver flatware on the table.
This elegant little show-off has antique furniture, gorgeous Bradington-Young leather chairs, Mikasa, Lenox, Castleton, depression glass, silverplate, LPs, books, artwork, linens, area rugs, outdoor décor, collectibles, housewares, holiday treasures, and a LifeCore recumbent bike.
Because nothing says refinement like admiring the sterling while pedaling furiously toward nowhere.
This one is ONE DAY ONLY, so there will be no circling back after you “think about it.”
Thinking is how other people end up with your chair.
🏡 FOREST OAKS: SMALL HOUSE. BIG NAMES. STRICT PARKING ENERGY.
Forest Oaks may be keeping things tidy, but it brought Bob Timberlake, Lexington, Henredon, Goodwin, Baker, Chinoiserie, Johnson Brothers, Lenox, electronics, artwork, outdoor décor, art supplies, housewares, holiday finds, and appliances that appear to have been raised properly.
It’s tasteful.
It’s tempting.
It is also located in an HOA.
And you know what that means.
🚧 PARK LIKE SOMEONE IS WATCHING—BECAUSE SOMEONE ABSOLUTELY IS. 🚧
Respect the cones.
Do not block driveways.
Do not block mailboxes.
Do not park on grass, landscaping, shrubbery, decorative gravel, garden gnomes, or anything that looks like it might have been discussed by a committee.
If your parking job could inspire a strongly worded neighborhood email, TRY AGAIN.
We are guests. Be lovely. Shop boldly. Park beautifully.
We would prefer not to appear on the agenda of an emergency HOA meeting titled:
“Happy Camper: A Review of Recent Events.”
☢️ BURLINGTON: SOMEBODY OPENED THE VINTAGE VAULT AND ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE
Burlington is a magnificent time capsule filled with the kind of things that make you stop, stare, and immediately abandon whatever budget you invented on the drive over.
We’ve got Fiestaware, Lenox, Franciscan pottery, Pyrex, 1960s barware, uranium glass and pottery, vintage furniture from the 1940s through the 1970s, and a spectacular 1960s sofa that deserves its own cocktail hour.
But Burlington did not stop there.
Oh no.
There is high-end costume jewelry.
Fossils.
Minerals.
Shells.
Shark teeth.
Barbies.
Madame Alexander dolls.
Porcelain dolls.
Board games.
Books upon books.
Garfield collectibles.
And enough fabulous vintage designer dresses from the 1960s and ’70s to make your modern closet look like it has simply stopped trying.
You could walk in searching for Pyrex and emerge wearing a vintage dress, holding a fossil, carrying a glowing cocktail glass, and dragging Garfield behind you.
That is not a shopping trip.
That is a complete personality change.
And frankly, it may be time.
So let’s review:
💎 HAMILTON FOREST: Sterling, leather, antiques, elegance—and ONE DAY to get it done.
🏡 FOREST OAKS: Designer furniture, beautiful finds, and an HOA quietly taking notes.
☢️ BURLINGTON: Vintage fashion, uranium glass, fossils, shark teeth, dolls, Pyrex, and glorious chaos from several different decades.
Three sales.
Three wildly different personalities.
One weekend in which “I don’t need anything” will be repeated by people actively carrying six bags and a chair.
👇 Links, photos, dates, times, and all the details will be in the comments.
Bring a friend.
Bring a tape measure.
Bring a vehicle with more cargo space than your current level of honesty requires.
