09/03/2026
🚨 UNAUTHORIZED BIO — SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN GIVEN ACCESS TO CHATGPT 🚨
Hi. I’m Shona
CEO of Wickedly Whipped Wonders and the reason ChatGPT probably needs PTO. 😭
I do not come here with questions.
I come here with situations.
It starts innocent:
“Can we make a little label?”
Six hours later we have:
A body butter.
A matching body oil.
A perfume.
A shimmer version.
A mini version.
A limited-edition collection.
A launch flyer.
A postponed-launch flyer because I changed my mind.
A printable recipe card.
And 14 labels because THE FIRST ONE WAS PERFECT BUT SOMETHING WAS BOTHERING ME.
😭😭😭
My most dangerous sentence is:
“Perfect! Now let’s…”
Because nothing has EVER ended after “perfect.”
Perfect just means you have successfully unlocked the next assignment.
And God forbid something on my label is crooked.
I WILL NOTICE.
“Why is that line there?”
“Take that off.”
“Dripped In is on there TWICE.”
“Make it vertical.”
“No. Like the OTHER vertical.”
“Why does she look different?”
“DON’T CHANGE HER FACE.”
😭😭😭
Meanwhile, I’m running a business like W***y Wonka if W***y Wonka smelled like perfume, wore lip gloss, had a Canva subscription, and was slightly overstimulated.
I’ll wake up and decide:
“We need a Halloween collection.”
Normal people would choose a few scents.
Absolutely not.
Now we’ve got Witches Brew, Vampires Breath, Killer Ghoul Friends, Pills & Potions, Candy Corn and Camp Crystal Lake because apparently I am not selling skincare anymore — I am building a cinematic universe.
And every scent needs its OWN PERSONALITY because I REFUSE to have two labels looking alike.
Then I’ll casually appear like:
“Okay, what if we make a body glaze?”
Ma’am.
YOU ALREADY HAVE BODY BUTTER.
“No, no. This is different.”
😭😭😭
Then comes the formulation laboratory:
“What if we add beeswax?”
“What about stearic acid?”
“Tapioca?”
“Dimethicone?”
“Take the castor oil out.”
“Put the avocado oil in.”
“Will it still pipe?”
“Will the peaks stay?”
“Will it survive Florida?”
At this point I am one pair of safety goggles away from yelling:
WE RIDE AT DAWN.
And YES, I will formulate an entire product…
name it…
price it…
design the packaging…
plan the launch…
AND THEN RANDOMLY DECIDE:
“Actually…I have another idea.”
💀
I don’t change my mind.
My vision evolves aggressively.
There is a difference.
I also don’t understand the phrase “good enough.”
If I asked for pale peach skin and you give me beige?
🚨 INVESTIGATION OPENED.
If the perfume label doesn’t match the body butter?
🚨 REBUILD IT.
If you changed ONE facial feature after I specifically said DON’T CHANGE THE FACE?
🚨🚨🚨 STRAIGHT TO JAIL.
I am simultaneously:
💅🏽 CEO
🧪 Cosmetic formulator
🎨 Creative director
📸 Product photographer
🛍️ Marketing department
🧾 Pricing analyst
🎃 Halloween enthusiast
🔍 Inspector General of Label Alignment
😂 And the customer service department that will absolutely tell you DO NOT EAT THE BODY BUTTER.
My brand strategy can best be described as:
“I saw something cute in my head and now everybody involved has to suffer until it exists.”
And somehow?
IT EXISTS.
Because underneath all this chaos is one extremely specific woman who already knows EXACTLY what she wants…
She just won’t know she wants it until you show her what she doesn’t want first.
😭😭😭😭
So yes.
Welcome to Wickedly Whipped Wonders.
Everything is handmade.
Everything smells amazing.
Everything matches.
Nothing happens calmly.
And if you hear me say:
“Okay perfect, just one more thing…”
Cancel your plans.
We are nowhere near finished. 💀😂💅🏽
