05/22/2013
Graduation Clarification:
You were sent two emails this morning. One said you were graduated and the second one said you were not. The second email was an error...or was it?
If you have not graduated pretend you did not receive the second email and go about your daily life with a graduation picture in your wallet as proof. After all they did call your name out on May 11th. Use at your own risk.
If you did graduate, take a few deep breaths and float in circles at the Rec Center whirlpool to slow your heart rate. Side effects may include nausea, headaches, hair loss, sleep loss, and of course, the inability to walk properly for a while.
Jokingly,
Jaguar Arts
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