08/25/2026
Ode to Mowing the Lawn
Oh, mowing the lawn—what a glorious chore,
I climb on the mower and head off to war.
Ten minutes go by and I'm starting to wheeze,
My lungs fill with grass and I cough when I sneeze.
My eyes double up—twice swollen, twice red,
Like somebody pepper-sprayed half of my head.
I finish the yard looking battered and drawn—
But dang it, just LOOK at that beautiful lawn!
So next week I'll mount up and do it again,
With inhaler, eye drops, and questionable zen.
Some men risk their lives climbing Everest at dawn—
I risk mine every Tuesday… just mowing the lawn.