Ship A Dick

Ship a giant cardboard dick to anyone, anonymously!

09/01/2026

D**g Gong.
Hard, Rock hard.

03/17/2026

The Hardwood Heavyweight: March Madness Edition

Nothing says “March Madness” like a 15-seed coming from behind to give a powerhouse the business. And by “powerhouse,” I mean your mother—with me giving her all 15 of my seeds! Boom. Mom jokes: the only thing staying “hard” in 2026.

Celebrate the ultimate “Bracket Buster” with a leather legend that’s more persistent than an underdog looking for a 16-over-1 upset. This isn’t just some flimsy gag; it’s a thin, flexible piece of authentic pebbled basketball leather, precision-cut into the most aerodynamic shape known to man.

Measuring a solid 6 inches, it’s the perfect size to mail to that friend whose bracket is already looking flaccid. This masterpiece is for the underdog lovers—the fans who know it’s not about the name on the front of the jersey, but the custom insult you engrave on the front of the shaft. While Duke might have snagged the #1 overall seed on Selection Sunday, this is the only “Blue Devil” guaranteed to pe*****te the paint.

We’ve taken high-quality basketball leather—complete with those iconic orange dots—and laser-cut it into a 6” trophy of pure athleticism. It’s the perfect gift for the “ball-handler” in your life or that rival fan who needs to eat a little leather after their team gets bounced in the first round. While projected #1 NBA draft pick AJ Dybantsa is busy practicing his jump shot, you can be busy shooting your message across the front of this ph***ic phenom.

It’s leather, it’s orange, and it’s ready to make a fast break into someone’s mailbox. Whether you’re rooting for Akron to pull off a shocker or just want to tell a Michigan fan that their season—and their #1 overall seed—is looking as “busted” as an ACL, this leather legend is ready for prime time.

SPECS:
6” long
3.3” wide
Faux Basketball Leather
Laser cut shape
Laser-engraved text

03/05/2026

Get it together Nancy…..too old!

01/23/2026

Is that a winch in your pocket or are you just happy to see another mall crawler?

We all know the "Duck Duck Jeep" thing.
You buy a Jeep, you get some "angry eyes" headlights, you never actually take it off-road, and suddenly people are leaving tiny rubber ducks on your door handle. It’s cute. It’s wholesome. It’s… boring.

At ShipADick, we think it’s time to give those Wrangler owners something they can really handle.

Introducing The Dicky Ducky: The 3D-printed hybrid that answers the question, "What if a rubber duck had a massive unit for a head?" It’s the ultimate prank for the Jeep owner in your life who takes their "Jeep Thing" a little too seriously.

https://shipadick.com/products/the-dicky-ducky

12/15/2025

Merry Dickmas!!

09/30/2025

Buckle up!! Spooooooooky season is here!

09/24/2025

The clouds parted.
After a few strokes, the trumpet sounded…

If you’re reading this, you didn’t make the cut.
Heaven said nah, and you’re stuck here with the rest of us degenerates.
But fear not, dear reader, even if the Big Guy upstairs wasn’t impressed with your search history, you’ll still be rewarded for your debauched lifestyle:

25% OFF anything at Ship A Dick
USE CODE: RAPTURE2025

Send a giant dick to your holier-than-thou buddy who swore they were getting first-class tickets to the afterlife. Or keep it for yourself — because nothing says “still here, bitch” like a cardboard c**k.
USE CODE: RAPTURE2025
(Use it before God changes His mind again)
Anyway, welcome to the leftovers club.
Let’s dick the most of it.

Love and always yours,
- Mr. Dick

Fine Print (a.k.a. Apocalyptic Disclosures):
By redeeming this offer, you acknowledge that (a) the Rapture didn’t want you, (b) you’re probably doomed anyway, and (c) no refunds will be issued in the event of smiting, plagues, or sudden horseman activity. Offer void in Heaven, Hell, and most Florida swamps. Offer expires when the Four Horsemen actually show up. No refunds if you get smited mid-checkout.

08/29/2025

You don’t always find a SkeleBoner on the playa but when you do, he always down to take a rip off your whip cream bottle

07/01/2025

New Product ALERT!
BRASS C**K or BALLS!

https://shipadick.com/products/brass-balls-or-dick-key-chains-1

Address

17100 NW Sauvie Island Road
Portland, OR
97231

Website

http://www.shipadick.com/

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Ship A Dick posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Business

Send a message to Ship A Dick:

Want your business to be the top-listed shop in Portland?