09/08/2026
This was my scene yesterday or last night at some point when I still had so much to hang, price, move and clean before opening today. No matter how much we all collectively did, there is always the night before, and more that needs done than you can possibly do, but you try. 5 years ago I pulled an all nighter before reopening 515, and I ended up doing the same last night at 553. Someone asked how I was still standing. Thatās what adrenaline is for. And Provision and sandals that donāt wear out in deserts - some of you know this. Alone in a building for 6 months. Alone with decisions and consequences and responsibilities and sacrifice, and bills, and fear, and grit, and determination. Alone with some deep work behind the scenes to come to terms with some things. Iām not the same person I was when I moved over. I would love to write about it one day. But first Iāll write about Kass and how she is also not the same employee. She is almost like a business partner with how invested she is and all the ownership she takes. A true operations lead whoās earned her stripes in this when no one knew where to find anything for thousands of books ordered in the midst of chaos and boxes and new challenges every day. Iāll write about how I will do anything to keep these doors open to pay my employees now, and provide more for more. For Dalton who jumped over from volunteer-work-for-books-help over the course of 4 years to a full work week, when I knew my inventory work couldnāt last without him. And we love having him around so much. Wait till you see how he catalogued my American Lit and History when we open that hallway. Emma who joined the team a little over a month ago and helped us over the finish line with a can do independent cheerful spirit who is used to running registers and is going to help check out so we can run operations, and who I asked to take my home section to where I always intended but never could finish. And the Kerrs - Momager Kathy, I have no words right now, and Sarah, Zak, Jenny, Matt, Joey, Josh and little Danny - from moving us to helping rescue us from a deluge of online orders and helping my brain process how to get out of a perpetual catch-22. Stacy Irwin who volunteered to come paint (and repaint;) and support in the same way she always did as a loyal customer. And others along the way at the right time! Caroline! Kassās Dad DJ, The Saltsgivers, Julie Bell, the Citinoās, DeSalvosā¦ not to mention some of the best contractors. Lisa and Alvie who gave me ceiling tile work and a vacation for me and my kids. Brian Batzli who put some life on hold many many days to help when other literal things fell apart (ahem bookshelves). And Alyssa when I did. My parents. My parents my parentsš my parentsš itās been a journey for us all since I fled here with 5 kids 7 years ago and thought Iād need to stay a week or so, and only just this year, since I moved, truly unpacked so much. The trauma that built a bookstore. A bookstore community that saved me. I am present. I am here. I have grieved. I have moved things that lived in a once upon a time place to a building I own now, a home in many ways, and that houses pieces of a former life, tucked inbetween books and people I love. Something I built. I had to make something. I had to live. My kids got to see it tonight when they returned to town - I wanted to still be open for them when they got back. And I am home, and will sleep, and will work among books and things so pretty I want to cry. I will solve problems and try to make things better, and Iāll mess up and try again, determined and hopeful, most days, and Iāll love on people as hard as I can - if they feel safe. Look for safety. Build something that matters and that will build you. Tell a story that must be told to understand it. Make a mark even if it doesnāt work. Itās the things that donāt work that lead to the things that do. So much love and thanks for a very special dayš.
