You see, Alaskan soil was formed by volcanoes, filled with Caribou, shall we say, excrement, and kept fresh and fertile under sheets of snow and ice. However, once the frozen stuff melts away in summer, there are days when the sun doesn’t set. Poker games go on forever, the brothels never know when to open – or close – and plants never stop growing. Ma*****na can grow higher than a moose’s eyeball
and stronger than a mama Polar bear defending its cub. This stuff will make you see the Northern Lights no matter if you’re in Juneau or Scottsdale, Arizona. After using it, men have been known to fish for salmon with their bare hands and teeth. We don’t recommend trying to drive a car when using this stuff, if you can even find it. Nor do we recommend entering any dice games, assuming you can still count to ten. We do recommend staring at our beautiful Mount Denali or trying to look all the way over to Russia (we swear, it’s over there.) It’s time to get a piece of the real deal before the laws change and everyone wants a piece of the action. Ever hear of the homesteaders? Well, you can be a ‘Weedsteader.’ Pure, green Alaska gold. Acapulco ain’t got nothing on this green dragon. Back in the old days, people got parts of places like Oklahoma… Do we need to explain the difference? Now, you can get a part of the real, green future.
