09/11/2026
📜⚓️ THE OFFICIAL PROCLAMATION OF CAPTAIN YARR ⚓️📜
HEAR YE! HEAR YE!
By order of Captain YARR, Commander of the Good Ship Questionable Decisions, Terror of the Seven Seas, and Occasional Glassblowing Enthusiast…
It is hereby declared that on the 19th day of September, all respectable pirates, scallywags, art lovers, sea dogs, troublemakers, and people who simply enjoy a suspiciously good time shall assemble at:
📍 214 Main St, Spring, TX
for the most glorious gathering of the season:
🏴☠️ YARRFEST 🏴☠️
⚓️ THE CAPTAIN’S LAWS ⚓️
LAW #1 — THOU SHALT WITNESS THE FIRE! 🔥
Live glassblowing demonstrations shall commence! Watch molten glass be transformed into glorious works of art by the skilled hands of our crew.
LAW #2 — THOU SHALT DANCE! 🎧
Live DJs shall command the decks. Failure to dance may result in immediate accusations of being a LANDLUBBER.
LAW #3 — THOU SHALT DRINK FREE B**R! 🍺
The Captain has spoken. The b**r be FREE.
Keep yer mug full and yer excuses empty.
LAW #4 — THOU SHALT HAVE A BLOODY GOOD TIME! ✨
Top-tier vibes are mandatory. Miserable faces will be thrown overboard.
☠️ THE WANTED LIST ☠️
🚨 WANTED:
Landlubbers
Party poopers
“Maybe I’ll just stay home” types
People who say, “I don’t really go out much”
Anyone who leaves before the good part
REWARD: Eternal glory.
PUNISHMENT: Hearing about YARRFEST from everyone who went without ye.
🗓️ THE DETAILS
⏰ 6 PM ‘TIL LATE
📍 214 Main St, Spring, TX
🏴☠️ YARRFEST — SEPTEMBER 19TH
So gather yer crew.
Don the pirate garb.
Prepare yer liver.
Secure yer b***y. 🍑
And report to the ship before the cannon fires. 💥
FAILURE TO ATTEND SHALL BE CONSIDERED AN ACT OF COWARDICE AND SHALL BE RECORDED IN THE CAPTAIN’S LOG.
⚓️ BY ORDER OF CAPTAIN YARR
🏴☠️ **RAISE THE FLAGS.
