11/24/2021
CW: Small Business Saturday, trying to get pregnant, self worth, thoughts on Thanksgiving and capitalism
Hi hi everybody!! I've got most of my lavender goodies on sale in early anticipation of Small Business Saturday. I'll be visiting family for Thanksgiving, so if you place your order while I'm away I'll get everything posted very shortly after I get back! You know that saying about a small business owner jumping for joy when they get an order. It really is like that! I'd absolutely love to send you some lavender treats whether they are for you or for your friends/family it would mean so much to me!! I've really been struggling lately with feeling like I'm in this crazy sort of limbo as we try to get pregnant and not wanting to necessarily work a "real" job or to dive too deep into Floralore because I worry that I'll just have to stop or quit if/when I get pregnant again, but it's really been taking a toll of my feelings of self worth in the interim. So while we are not struggling financially, I have been struggling emotionally in this in-between time (and in the context of capitalism).
Lately, (as a Mohegan) Thanksgiving has felt kind of strange to me. On the one hand my family and I still celebrate it and eat all sorts of yummy foods and it is a great time to get together. On the other hand a lot of the historical justification for the holiday feels icky. This feel good story about how white people and native people came together and the native people fed the white people so that they would survive happily. It's all a bit, well. First not accurate, but also just feels like a colonialist whitewashing of so much genocide.
All of that being said, I also still celebrate Thanksgiving and want to wish you all a wonderful, reflective and affirming time with your families and loved ones.
Perhaps, this can also be a good place to talk about struggles with self worth in the context of capitalism. I feel like we get told this story that we are only worthy if we are producing things/ideas that make money. When I actually think about my friends and family though, your worth for me is definitely not derived from your ability to procure wealth. It most certainly is in how they show up with sincerity and kindness and in how much fun we have together enjoying shared activities and good conversation. It feels so easy to divorce that idea of self worth = ability to create wealth when it is about someone not myself. Perhaps you struggle with this too? Maybe it is just me? I'm not sure.
Thanks for coming with me on this somewhat all over the place exploration of Thanksgiving, capitalism and self worth.
Photo of star shaped lavender necklace with jute cord, one of many lavender goodies available on my website, which is linked in comments.