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Sassy Girl, West Fargo, ND (2026)

08/08/2026

Sorry, I cannot get up and going because my cat is still sleeping.
Not sorry.

07/26/2026

It’s coffee time.
Get a really big cup. I’m feeling extra emotional today.
Really big one. Maybe two.

Have you ever wondered about, when you die, how long you will be mourned? Or if you made a big enough impression while you were here?
Strange question, I know.

When I was a little girl I had two favorite grandmas.
Mamaw, my grandmother (Helen) and Nanny, my great grandmother. (Erin)

They lived in Kansas, where I was born, and we moved to ND in 1972 (I think, pretty sure)
I went back to Kansas most summers growing up; I would usually spend at least a month.
I spent more time with Nanny because she was retired and Mamaw still worked.

My earliest memory of Nanny was at a burger joint.
I was about 4 years old so I don’t know if it was McDonald’s or tasty freeze or whatever, I just know I wanted a burger with the seeds on the bun.

I stayed in the car and nanny went in to get me a burger with seeds on the bun.
When she came out to the car and gave it to me, I opened it up, and there were no seeds on the bun.
I didn’t throw a fit. I just simply told her there were no seeds on the bun and she went back in and got something different.
Still no seeds on the bun. She went back in again!
Are you kidding me?
My Mamaw would’ve thrown that hamburger at me and told me to sit down, shut up and eat my burger 😆😆😆 as she should!

When nanny could drive, I would sit in the backseat of her little green car. She had this plastic over the seats and they had things that looked like bubble wrap in them, but they were hard plastic. I would sit back there and press on them, thinking it was some kind of bubble wrap.

Nanny would look in the rearview mirror and say, Rhonda, with her little southern drawl, Rhonda, you’re not back there pushing on those things now are you?
No… 😊
And she would say; you better not be.

Through the years we made great memories. She lived in a quaint neighborhood in Gardner Kansas. Perfect small town living, absolutely perfect. Everyone knew everyone. My pediatrician lived right behind her. She would even take me to the community pool.
Everyone knew me.
She talked about me constantly, this will be confirmed in a bit.

The ice cream truck would make its rounds through the neighborhood, I would hear that sound I would go running into the house for money. I always got the popsicle with all the different colors, the one that looks like a rocket.

She lived in a three bedroom house, but she lived on the edge of town and I was a little nervous sleeping in the other rooms by myself, so I would go get the great big cushions off the patio furniture and lay it down next to her bed and that’s where I would sleep.

She slept like a rock and would snore like a lumberjack so I would kick the side of her bed until it jolted her awake and then I would pretend like I was sleeping 😆😆

We watched stories, we had her little old lady friends over and I would sit there for hours, listening to the gossip. She would make me a big batch of what she called “spaghetti red” to munch on whenever I wanted and she would get pissy if I flushed the toilet if I only p*ed.
Gross.
But she was a single parent during the depression, my great grandfather died quite young so I tried to be understanding.

Nanny’s house was my safe place.
I didn’t have to be scared, I knew I was loved and protected. Even to this day, I don’t think that I have felt as safe and secure as I did back then, with her, in her house.

She would have been 119 years old today.
I had her until I was 30 and she passed 2 weeks before her 91st birthday.
I was shocked when she died, and yes, I was there. I could not fathom my life without her in it.
As soon as I got the call that she was not doing well, I got in the car and drove all night.

She opted to go off of all life-saving measures. She had her wits about her up until her last breath. She was transported from the hospital to the nursing home on hospice.
Before she left the hospital, her doctor came to see her. She looked at me and said, you must be the great granddaughter Erin always talks about 🥰 I’m so glad you are here with her.

We were all there.
My mom, my uncle’s, aunts, cousins, her lady minister, there was a whole lot of us.
Everyone was going to leave except for me. They were going to take care of some things and be back in a bit.
To be honest, I was horrified to be left alone with her in case something happened while everyone was gone. She had the “death rattle” and could only have thickened liquids.
It scared me to pieces for fear she would choke while I was trying to give her these liquids.

I smoked back then and decided that I was going to go outside and have a few ci******es before they all left, you know, to calm those nerves! I was so scared.

As I was sitting outside by myself smoking away, her lady minister came out and sat by me.
We chitchatted a little bit, had a nice conversation, she told me that she needed to get going, but asked me if I would like to pray for Nanny. I honestly wasn’t sure what we were going to pray about for her because she was leaving and she was going to be in eternal bliss.
Whatever.
Let’s pray, then you can get away from me and leave me alone to smoke and be upset by myself.

All I remember, is crying and looking up at the sky.
The sky was especially blue that day and the clouds were beautiful and slowly moving around.
She was saying something like, send your angels and your great chariot to pick up Erin.

I was a little taken back because as I was staring up, I could see clouds that resembled a chariot, going over the building.
I knew that I was just upset, I was seeing things, but I thought it was really cool.

The lady minister left, I lit a cigarette, and from behind me I hear my mother yelling my name.
I turned around and she said, she’s gone.
It nearly killed me.
She left without me.

I understand now that she didn’t want me there.
She left before anyone else could leave so she could say goodbye, surrounded by family.
My uncle was holding her hand, she looked at him and asked, can I go now?
He replied with yes mother, you can go. She closed her eyes and left.

Erin, Nanny, Grandma Suzy, grandma, all the different names she was known as had left.
It still brings tears to my eyes 28 years later.
It feels like it was yesterday.

She left July 14th 1998.
September 2nd, 1998 I found out I was pregnant. The following May my little blonde haired blue eyed Erin was born. 🥰

It’s true.
God doesn’t close one door without opening another.

I will be 58 in a few weeks. So we can say nearly 60, and I am still mourning loved ones from so long ago. They are still alive through me and will be until my dying breath.

We get one life.
One journey, one book to write, one bus to drive.
Make every moment count, make the memories and leave the impressions with those who love you so much.
Trust me, they will treasure the memories. 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Happy heavenly birthday Nanny 💕💕

07/25/2026

Where are my cat baby owners??
I know you are going to relate.

First off, it’s Saturday.
I wanted to sleep in.
But no.
My old man has other ideas.
I’m laying in my bed, all snuggled in, sleeping like a baby and suddenly, I feel a light caress starting. A little back massage, a little rubbing of my arm. 🥰

Get your mind out of the gutter. We don’t do p**n here! It’s my old man, Oliver, he’s 15 and very demanding in his old age.
He wanted treaties.
At his age, Oliver gets what Oliver wants.

Now mind you, these a-holes bug the s**t out of me every morning.
Oliver does not know how to tell time. Some days it’s 5am so I guess I did sleep in.
And in his defense, a lot of mornings he will get on my pillow, and literally bite, and pull my hair to wake me up, perhaps I should be grateful for the soft touches.

He’s smart.
In fact, they all are.
They know once they wake me up I have to p*e, and once I p*e they can start yelling at me, so to shut them up I will give them their morning treaties.
See? Smart.
Maybe that would work on Sexy Man when I need a snack? 🤔
I will work on that.

I’m pottied, they’ve had their treaties, I’m laying back down.
Just as I start getting comfy, I hear, MMRROOWW
MMRROOWW, MMRROOWW!
It’s Lady Meow Meow.
She’s 14 and sassy as s**t!

Oliver and Lady M get wet food multiple times per day due to health issues, and this bitch wants breakfast.
Right. Meow.

There’s no ignoring her once she gets something in her head. I have no idea where she gets that attitude from 💁‍♀️
She will sit there, glaring and screaming at me until the end of time.

FINE EFFERS!
I grab Lady Meow Meow, tell Oliver to come on and head downstairs.
I get downstairs, throw Lady M in the potty box and head to the kitchen to fix breakfast.
And then, I felt it.

I didn’t even need to look down to know what was coming up between my toes.
It’s cold, lumpy and squishy with a little bit of slime. 🤢Right in the middle of the walking path because, why not?
It’s not my first rodeo, I know exactly what I’m standing in.
Personally, I feel like 7 o’clock on a Saturday morning is a little bit too early for my first fml but sure.

I do have to sneak a p*ek, so I know what I need to clean this mess up.
Oh eff. Oh FFFFFFFF. 🤮
It’s nasty 😷
And it’s between my toes.
More fml.

At least I saw the second pile before I stepped in it. 🤦‍♀️
I’m pretty sure Gracie Lou Freebush engorged herself in the middle of the night. She’s been in a food frenzy lately. I keep telling her that she could run faster when the baby cat chases her if she would lose a few ounces, but she doesn’t care. She’s sexy and she knows it.

The kicker?
Sexy Man had his water bottle locked and loaded so he could spray them away so I could sleep!
Where was he during this s**t show?
SLEEPING!
Sleeping like a little fricking baby.
Whatever.
Let’s throw in another fml and head back to bed 😒

Full transparency-
They are both declining, the health issue will take them from me sooner rather than later so when these as****es say jump, I ask how high.
They are my babies and I treasure all of the fml’s they are willing to give.
🥰💕🥰💕🥰💕

07/23/2026

Oh hi!
Sorry I’m late. I’ve been scrounging around my house, looking for my contract.

The contract where I signed up for this s**t!
I can’t find it anywhere. Trust me, I’ve looked.

What s**t you ask?
The s**t of my daily life.
I have all these aches and pains, and do you think that they could all hurt at the same time one day a week?
NO.

Every day is a crapshoot.
Sometimes I sleep wrong and either I break my hip or maybe I’m cutting off circulation to my arm so I have to do these weird little movements in the middle of the night to get the feeling back in my thumb.

Or I might wake up and step out of bed to go potty, and I suddenly have some strange pain in my thigh that I’ve never had before 💁‍♀️

Now, I have these weird things in what little arch I have in my feet 🙀
Balls.
Balls of nerve endings or some bulls**t that have gathered, and sometimes they really hurt and the tip of my big toe is always tingling and I’m starting to lose feeling.
Will they ever go away?
Again, F NO!
Is there anything that can be done for them?
NO! Not really 💁‍♀️
Radiation might help them a little bit, I can always have them removed, but further complications will arise. I can lose the feeling in more toes, half my foot or nearly all of it and the fu***rs can come back!

My doctor said that it can happen for an array of reasons, apparently trauma to the foot is a big one. But I have it not in just one of my feet but BOTH!
So both of my feet were traumatized?
And it’s me so “they are quite big”.
Of course they are.
And now they will be with me for the rest of my life. I should probably name them if we’re going to be hanging out 💁‍♀️

Trauma? To my feet?
Were they like bullied?
Did they have a messy divorce? Did they see a horrific accident?
F**k my life with this forever s**t.

It’s very exciting to wake up every day and wonder, what is going to hurt today?
I am pretty sure that sexy man thinks I am a hypochondriac.

The man works harder in one day than I have worked in my entire life. He has rheumatoid arthritis and it’s not new, it has progressed.
He wears steel toed boots every day and climbs 150 feet in the air and here I am, over here with an ache my Amphibia and the man never complains.
Of course, the minute I opened my eyes I have to inform him that my butt cheek hurts and I have no idea what I did to it.
Every.single.day.

Good morning babe!
Did you sleep well?
No. I was up three times to the cat trying to hawk a hairball. Then when I got up to go to the bathroom, my calf seized up on me and my feet were crying because they’re traumatized. My arm hurts right here. I suddenly have a tick in my left cheek and I haven’t had a solid p**p in a week so my tummy hurts.
How did you sleep?
🤦‍♀️

The other day I was at a job and tripped over my own s**t that I was gathering. Of course I had changed to my outdoor slides so as I tripped, my slide went sliding, and while trying to sturdy myself, I stuck my foot in a bucket, the bucket went sliding, along with my slides, across the floor and I damn near did the splits, while the resident eight year-old was snickering! Pretty sure I hurt my thyroid.

My arthio gland hurts today.
I’m not sure what I did to it, but it’s kind of spasming. I’m just laying here trying to figure out what I did to aggravate it and I can’t seem to pinpoint anything.

I am also up at the butt crack of dawn, waking up to the sound of my cat, trying to pull up a fricking hairball.
If you have cats, you know that sound.
It is one of the grossest sounds on earth 🤮
As I hurry up and try to push her down off my side table! She turned just in time to projectile vomit the damn thing on the side of my comforter, that I didn’t notice until I got up to p*e, realizing that my megathorusial is hurting today!
What the real f**k???

I got the flu at the end of last week.
And no, it’s not the lettuce flu. We got it from our grandbaby. We thought the poor little tyke was over it but apparently not.
He gave it to his auntie, then gave it to Papa, then Papa gave it to me.

20 years ago, I would’ve puked a few times and got on with my day.
Not anymore.
My tummy started rumbling on Saturday. I’m thinking maybe I just have to go to the ladies room and have a little p**py.

I proceed to use the restroom a couple of times.
Whatever 💁‍♀️
Then it became a couple hundred times, until I couldn’t decide if I was going to be p**ping or puking so my body decided to do both at the same time and then relieve the bladder, at the same time.
Why not?
I’m surprised it didn’t throw in a few sneezes too 💁‍♀️
Betraying bitch ass old body.

It took two full days to recover from this “s**t.”
The first day I slept and sweat. Sweated? Sweat? Whatever.
The second day I was sweating so bad I woke up at 3 o’clock in the morning convinced I had p*ed the bed. Once I realized I had not actually p*ed the bed, I got up to go to the bathroom and suddenly my nasal passages started hurting.
I went back to bed woke up at noon, felt better, managed to stay awake until bedtime, woke up on the third day feeling like I could conquer the world. Until I tried and my old lady ass had different ideas so early to bed it was.
But still.

Tomorrow my gluteus maximus might be throbbing, or my patella, or a throat gland, or maybe my lordusitional might be tender OR THE TOP OF MY BUTT CHEEK MIGHT FEEL STRAINED!

I don’t think I actually signed that contract. Somebody forged my signature. I am pretty sure that is against the law. I need to find an attorney and sue somebody. 🤦‍♀️
Now my as***le cat is meowing at me over and over and over, making the hair on the back of my neck stand-up because I don’t speak cat and I really don’t care what she needs because the little brat has already barfed on the side of my comforter.
F**k off Lady Meow Meow.
My belly button hurts and I don’t have time for your bulls**t.

07/11/2026

Good morning!
I’m back from several days spent with my Wisconsin family, including that beautiful, one year-old grandson.
Gosh, I love that child!

You are not going to believe this, but, I managed to have a vacation with hardly any episodes. Just one. And I was horrified 🤦‍♀️

This might be the grossest post I’ve ever made but, whatever. I’m older now and really not giving any “s**ts.”😂

As we were walking down the strip, I told my husband that we needed to probably grab an Uber and get back to our hotel because I had to go to the bathroom, if you know what I mean.
I try with everything I have not to go in public.

Pretty soon it was evident that I was not going to make it. I was forced to go to the nearest restroom and humiliate myself.

Thank God, the restroom I went into was huge and empty.
As I was heading to the furthest stall I could find, a cleaning woman with a sweeping mop, came out of one of the stalls.
S**t. (Literally) which way is she going? Towards me, away from the back of the restroom or is she working her way to the back?

I got as far back as I could go, trying to figure out which way she was going, you know so I can have some privacy as I am horrified with my body.
I get into my chosen stall, pull out my purse size perfume that I carry everywhere I go, spray it into the potty, like poo-pourri.

I sit down on the potty, making sure that I am courtesy flushing, quick short sprays in the air, and start taking care of my business away from the rest of the world.

All of a sudden, I see the sweeper mop up coming underneath the stall door to my left. It’s being pushed inside the stall as far as she could reach.
I almost died. She was right outside my stall.
The sweeper mop left, thank you Jesus. I just want to be left alone.

Nope! It’s back. This time coming underneath the door, so far in it, almost touched my feet.
Get away from me sweeper mop! Go! Leave me be! You’re making me nervous and stalling progress!!!
Finally it moved on.
Thank you 🙏
I just want to take care of my business and slink out of this bathroom 🤦‍♀️

Until it came at me from the right.
Peaking at me once again screaming, IM BACK!!
Gosh dammit lady! Why do you need to be so thorough? This restroom has 40 stalls in it and you are fixated on mine?? WTF?

Finally, there is not 1 inch of the floor inside my stall that has not been cleaned.
Good now I can just take care of that same business. I’ve been trying to take care of for 10 minutes.

Until she decided to clean the stall door.
Are you effing kidding me?
For real? This stall is in the middle of a humongous restroom and suddenly this is your focus? There’s nobody else in this entire restroom, there’s 50 empty stalls that you could be deep cleaning very far away from me.

I swear to God, she was doing it on purpose, probably silently laughing at me.
I was tempted to skip the courtesy flush as pushback, but I could not bring myself to do it.

She should work at Walmart. She would have a hay day. 🤦‍♀️
I am scarred.
When I close my eyes, all I can see is that sweeper mop telling me that it knew what I was trying to inconspicuously do and I wasn’t getting away with it.

Next time I might just p**p my pants. I think it would be less humiliating. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
**ping

06/30/2026

On our way to meet up with our daughter and fam.
4 days of baby snuggles and love 💕

I’m kind of put off by the fact I couldn’t find a Hello Kitty neck pillow, but I guess Strawberry Shortcake will suffice.

Pray for Sexy Man 🙏
Pray he doesn’t try to shove me out the window of the plane 😂😂😂

06/29/2026

Well…. I did it again.
I managed to get myself in trouble today, at Walmart, by Sexy Man.
Now I’m not allowed to wander around by myself and I’m required to hold his hand until I can learn to stick by him.

It’s not my fault he handed me a new, Legally Blonde, pink, soft, plushy throw blanket and I needed to find hot pink ear thingys to listen to Charlotte Dobre on YouTube while we’re on the airplane to deter myself from being mischievous, forcing an emergency landing because some fluffy old lady can’t control herself, right? 💁‍♀️

*As Sexy Man has a vice grip hold on my hand.
He doesn’t play around or take my s**t in Walmart. 😡

I will be good this time, I promise! I really promise! Don’t take away my new blanket, I will hold your hand and stay by you!

Can I still have the hot pink ear thingys though? 🤔

06/26/2026

I don’t know what we’re going to do with Sexy Man 🤦‍♀️

Last weekend when we were at the lake with the pontoon, not “our” lake, we don’t have one, and he bought an elderly, yet capable pontoon, the pontoon wasn’t centered on the trailer. He said he needed to back it up into the water to get it on right but being by himself he wasn’t sure if he could easily do it.

Me, with my smart mouth blurts out, I can do it!
AND HE BELIEVED ME!
I feel like that was his first mistake 💁‍♀️
I can’t back my car into the garage without taking something out but he’s going to trust me, to back up a trailer, with a huge pontoon on it, that has been pulled away from the dock and driven towards to road; so not a straight shot?

I wasn’t a nervous wreck for some reason.
When I was younger, I was a very strong young woman. Many years ago when my grandmother passed away, I put my little son in the car and we drove to Kansas all by ourselves. And it was winter! Nothing phased me, I always just did what I had to do.
I miss that girl!
Let’s work on getting her back, starting right now.

So, I hopped into the drivers seat of this great big truck, with a hood as tall as I am, it’s a monster.

The expectation is to back up, turn the whole works, go straight back and slide that pontoon beautifully right next to the dock.
Sure, I can do that!

I put that bitch in reverse and hit the gas!
Did you ever see Fried Green Tomatoes?
When Kathy Bates gets that look on her face after those girls in the slug bug stole her parking spot? You can see when the determination hits her face.
Towanda! She throws her car into drive and away she goes.
Yeah, that was me!
I was determined!
Towanda!

Vrooooommmm
Sexy Man is yelling directions, do this do that.
I got it turned, look at me go! Then all I had to do was back it straight into the lake. That part seemed to be the hardest, 🤔 weird.

Apparently, you’re supposed to be beside the dock. Not on top of it.
It would have been helpful if this had previously been clarified 💁‍♀️
Sexy Man is behind me shouting orders, turn the wheel this way, turn the wheel that way. NO! This way!

I’m watching in the side view mirror, doing what he’s asking me to do, but I can feel a tad bit of tension.
But why?
I think this going well and I’m feeling so proud of myself because I haven’t run anybody over, I haven’t overturned or sunk the pontoon, why the cranky face Sexy Man?

Sexy Man never yells with an angry tone, especially with me. He is very loving and respectful.
All the sudden I hear him screaming with a mix of anger and frustration, at the top of his lungs, in public with people around, TURN THE FU***NG WHEEL!!!

Oh reealllyyy?
What.did.you.just.say.to.me.
Not only raising his voice to the princess, but cursing, in public? Are you serious right meow?
Do you want me to run you over? Because I could do it. It might take me a few tries, but I think I could accomplish that too.

How am I going to handle this? Am I going to shrink in embarrassment? Am I going to get mad? Am I going to be offended?

Naahhhh i’m in a monster truck, with a humongous pontoon, on a trailer in reverse. I am a bad ass!
So I scream back, I AM TURNING THE FU***NG WHEEL, as I bust out laughing. This s**t is FUN!
Go me! Weeeeeee look at me go!
All while people are looking around, trying to figure out if a brawl is going to ensue, if they are going to find a dead sexy man in the parking lot, or watch a pontoon launch off a trailer.

All I can see is sexy man behind me, shaking his head. Why are you shaking your head babe? 😍

A couple, about our age, were walking past and seemed to be quite amused.
They went to their vehicle to put their things away, and the gentleman came back.
I think he was starting to feel sorry for Sexy Man, although I don’t know why. 💁‍♀️

He helped me successfully get the pontoon backed up into the water, next to the dock, not on top of it, not in the weeds, not 10 feet away from it, but perfectly right next to it.

Did you know that when you are looking in the sideview mirror and somebody is showing you which way to turn the wheel that what you’re seeing is the opposite of what they want you to do? I did not know that, but I do now. 😂
I’m a pro!
I bet next time it will only take me 11 times to get it right.

Sexy Man says there won’t be a next time.
Whatever.
It’s not my fault he let me do it in the first place.
He’s not new here.
😂😂😂
I’m a bad ass! 💃

06/20/2026

I never thought this day would come 😢

I’m glamping. In a TENT!
Although, I don’t really know why it’s called glamping 💁‍♀️
Sexy Man forgot a few things.

First of all, let’s pick a night when it’s -27° outside.
3 blankets between the three of us because this is my husbands element and he’s a man, whoop whoop, suck it up.

Where’s my heater?
Why is the WiFi slow?
Uhh microwave?
What the real F, is that caw caw at 5am?
What is that yodeling, wailing, hooting sound?
I knew I didn’t like birds, they just want to s**t on my car!
Where is my refrigerator?
I have to WALK, to the potty?
Where is my loofa?
Do bears live here?
Is that blow up bed a pillow top?
HEATER??

I was so cold I put my leggings on with my jammie shorts over them.
The blow up mattress, that was not pillow top by the way, was cold.
I was forced to put all of the beach towels down to lay on because it felt like laying on ice!

What did the boys do?
They laid on it because I wasn’t sharing a towel.
Poor little man forgot his pillow so we had to go buy one, what a wussy. I thought this was supposed to be roughing it? I’ve been roughing it. 💁‍♀️

I mean… Sexy Man may have had to buy me a rug because the boulders he put the tent on hurt my footsies. And some slippers with fur on the inside because… well, just because.
Is that a bug?
What was that noise?

Little Man was tormenting me with something called a wolf spider, I have no idea what that is but it doesn’t sound good and it better stay away from me.

My morning ti**le, that I had to walk to the building for because I’m no dummy, I’m not squatting so I can 1, p*e all over myself, 2, have some rabid snake come by trying to make friends, I told Sexy Man I was taking my phone in case I ran into one of them wolf spiders, as I opened the zipper thingy, scoping the perimeter for bears.

His smart mouth asks, what are you going to do with your phone, take a picture of the spider?
No dumb ass, so I can call you and you can save me, duh 🙄.

Did I mention we could see our breath?
Good thing I didn’t need a fan because it was -12° and Sexy Man forget one.
He acts like he’s new here.

This morning, at the butt crack of dawn, thanks to those insane birds that don’t have jobs or anything else better to do then have a fricking party, as was laying in my non pillow top mattress, although it was 18”, wrapped in my two blankeys, yes, two, Sexy Man was up being all chipper and obnoxious so I stole his, being all warm and comfy, but hungry.
Do you know there is no McDonald’s down the street???
Sexy Man decided we all needed to get up and go to breakfast.

Are you for real right now a-hole? I am finally fricking toasty and now I have to get up, and go in public?
Sure! You got it.

I got up and did nothing but put my slippers on.
He looked at me and frowned.
Take your pajamas off, you’re not wearing them over your pants.
I told him he was rude.

Apparently I’m not allowed to take my non pillow top mattress, lovely blankeys and tv on the pontoon.
This is NOT, glamping. This is barbaric!

I will give Sexy Man credit though, the one thing he did remember was my anxiety meds.
Apparently he didn’t want to deal with my psycho anxious side 😂😂😂
Good call my love, good call!

If you don’t hear from me ever again, you know I got eaten by a wolf spider, tried to make friends with a rabid snake, got eaten by a bear or thrown over board because Sexy Man was sick of my s**t.
Pray for me. And Sexy Man.

06/16/2026

FOR EFF SAKES🤦‍♀️

I go to the kitchen to fill my water.
I end up wiping down the kitchen. Here come my 2 elderlies, looking for breakfast.

I get their meals together, hide Oliver’s medication in his, get them situated.
I should clean the air fryer pan.
Oh! I’m going to clean the potty boxes! I think I need to sweep the kitchen.
GRACIE LOU FREEBUSH! Get your fat ass out of Oliver’s food! He takes Miralax you know! I hope you s**t yourself!
Wait… not I don’t, scratch that!

Load the dishwasher, I actually remembered to start it, yay me!
Wipe down all the counters, consider mopping but… what time is it??
S**T!

Get Lady Meow Meow to her perch, rush to the bathroom, brush the teeth, get the bra and shirt on, slip the shoes on and head for the door.
DAMMIT!
I went off the schedule when I put my shoes on! I’m not wearing fricking pants! AGAIN!

Society frowns on this behavior for some reason. Probably so I don’t scorch peoples eyeballs out or something frivolous like that.

Get my pants on get my purse, get all my crap, get in the car, the keys are not in my purse.
Run back into the house find the keys, run back to the garage get the car started and realize, I forgot my morning shakes.
S**t.

Run back into the house, I really should be counting steps this morning, but whatever, grab my shakes get back to the car get my seat buckle on I’m ready to go, and I do not have my sunglasses.
I go through my purse, nothing.
Dammit!! I have been trying to be so good and putting them someplace where I will find them because I always forget where I put s**t 💁‍♀️

Back in the house I go, fly up the stairs, search my bedroom search my bathroom search the other bathroom and the laundry room even though I know I wasn’t in there, fly back down the stairs as fast as an old fat woman can, search through the living room, search through the kitchen that I just cleaned, but God knows I could’ve looked right at them and not even realized what I was looking at.
For effs sake I am ridiculous.

Well, that is how it goes today, I get no sunglasses.
And before you tell me that I should have multiple pairs, I have done that in the past.
I used to always have a minimum of three pairs of sunglasses… and still get in my car all the time without any sunglasses and could not find them.
I even lifted the hatch and went through all my bags and supplies I used yesterday, nothing.
So there’s that.

Get back in the car get my seatbelt on, happen to turn my head a little bit to the right and I see something blingy…. Fml 🤦‍♀️

Got to go!
Have a Romy and Michele Day! 😍😍😍

Sassy Girl

08/08/2026

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07/25/2026

07/23/2026

07/11/2026

06/30/2026

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06/16/2026

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