07/24/2026
Linzi here—on my 30th Adoption Day. Today I felt a nudge to return to the book that saved me 16 years ago: Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother.
If you've ever felt that sense of quiet serendipity—destiny—when the right book found you at the exact moment you needed it, you'll understand the reverence towards a book that I'm talking about.
For most of my childhood through early college, I struggled with separation, abandonment, lovability, and identity issues. From ages 11 to 14, I was consumed by grief, rage, and a bottomless depression I didn't think I'd ever come back from.
Then came this book.
Xinran, a journalist, gave voice to the silenced Chinese biological mothers who grieved their lost daughters. She wrote it for those daughters—the ones who may very likely grow up wrestling with unlovability and abandonment wounds, like I did.
There's immeasurable nuance on the topic of adoption, especially transnational, transracial adoption. But the point of this post isn't to unpack all of that. It's just to say: books can be lifesavers. And what a beautiful thing that is.
Happy Adoption day to my family and me. Nothing I've accomplished in this life would have been possible if it hadn't been for the decisions and actions—likely devastating ones—of my birth family + my family-family.
Much love to all the adoptees out there too.
