09/22/2026
📰 BREAKING NEWS: Missing From Weekend Shift
A prominent local figure—a LEGO man, a character, and an absolute legend—failed to report for duty this weekend, leaving the entire town asking: What happened to Derek?
Witnesses last spotted him near Forby’s, carrying a suspiciously empty cup and what appeared to be a tiny pair of sunglasses. Investigators believe he may have been lured away by the promise of unlimited shaved ice.
Another clue points to a mysterious getaway vehicle powered entirely by imagination.
He answers to Derek—but may also respond to “Hey, you!” Officials warn that he could be hiding in plain sight behind a mountain of ice and syrup.
If spotted, please ensure he returns immediately. His shift is waiting. 🍧