Lameck mpelauka official

29/06/2026

The old days growing up as a boy child in rural areas with the love of playing soccer

The Rules were very unfair😂:

1. When under a counter-attack, any player could dive and catch the ball in the box and shout "change goalkeeper".

2. The owner of the ball is never be substituted or shouted at if he messes up.

3. Three coners will accumulate amd amount to a penalty.

4. When the owner of the ball is called by the parents, the game is over, he carries the ball.

5. The owner of the ball has to shoot penalties for both sides.

6. The best dribbler has to belong and take the same side as the owner of the ball.

7. The game always ended according to the ball owner's mood.

8. any player could go home to drink water and then come back to play.

9. the ball can also be repaired during the match, when the owner feels like it's getting damaged.

10. When you tackle the owner of the ball badly, you are substituted.

Add always the owner of the ball has to be the winner at the end

28/06/2026

10/03/2025

Rockview University is here to help! With a wide range of programs, from short courses to PhDs, and scholarships up to 80%, we've got you covered.

Don't miss out on this chance to;

- Advance your career
- Pursue your passion
- Gain knowledge and skills

Call or WhatsApp +260766928859

Join the group
https://chat.whatsapp.com/Bui7kx1gg0GC5oCmdLUbEd

25/02/2025

ZAMBIANS : We are experiencing floods almost the entire zambia but why do we still having loadshedding?
ZESCO:

10/02/2025

Robbers entered a house and, asked for all the money and valuables. After they collected what they could, they gave the man of the house a gun with instructions to shoot his wife or shoot himself. The man got the gun, pointed it at his wife, and hesitated. He was thinking of what he had gone through in life with his wife and how she had suffered and sacrificed for him. He handed back the gun and said, "I am sorry, I can't do this." The boss of the robbers silently grabbed the gun from him and passed it on to the wife to kill her husband. The wife got the gun and, without any single hesitation, pointed it at her husband's head and pulled the trigger. But, at last, the gun had no bullets in it. The robbers got their gun and walked out of the house laughing.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:

1. If you were the man, what would you do?
2. If you were the wife, what explanation would you give?
3. If you were invited to bring peace, how would you settle it?

17/12/2024

Husband: Where are you?
Wife : at home love.
Husband : are you sure?
Wife : yes.
Husband : please turn on the microwave
Wife : (turns on the microwave) dreeeedrreee..
Husband : okay love goodbye.

Another day
Husband: where are you?
Wife : at home love.
Husband : are you sure?
Wife : yes.
Husband: turn on the microwave
Wife : (turns on the microwave) dreeeeedreeee...
Husband: okay love goodbye.

Another day
Suspicious huband where are you?
Wife : at home love.
Husband : are you sure?
Wife : yes.
Husband : turn on the microwave!
Wife (turns on the microwave) dreeeeedreee...
Husband : okay my love goodbye.

The next day the Husband decides to call on his son's phone and he asks him, “son where is your mother?”
Son : I don't know, she went out with the microwave 3 days ago.

29/11/2024

Listen up, you magnificent beast! Don't let the sun set on another day without making some serious magic happen! Remember what they say: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." So take that step, even if it's a tiny hop! Don't let fear hold you back – "Fortune favors the bold," and you are bolder than a dragon facing a thousand monkeys!

Today is your oyster, your chance to shine brighter than a thousand suns! "The early bird gets the worm," so get cracking! But don't forget to smell the roses along the way. Even the Monkey King needs a moment to relax and recharge. So find your balance, my friend. Work hard, play hard, and remember: "Where there's a will, there's a way." Now go out there and conquer the world! *A mischievous grin spreads across my face* You got this!

15/09/2024

"Accounting is the only Profession practised on earth and in heaven". You will "account for all your actions on earth and account for same in heaven". Now look at this BALANCE SHEET Of LIFE

Birth is your
Opening Stock.

What comes to you
is
Credit.

What goes from you
is
Debit.

Your ideas are your
Assets.

Your bad habits are
your
Liabilities.

Your character is
your
Capital

Your happiness is
your
Profit.

Your sorrow is your
Loss.

Your knowledge is
your
Investment

Your age is your
Depreciation.

Death is your
Closing Stock.

And finally :
GOD IS YOUR AUDITOR

Always endeavor to have a perfect Balance Sheet because your AUDITOR will come back sooner than later. Keep your books correctly.