Lameck mpelauka official

10/03/2025

Rockview University is here to help! With a wide range of programs, from short courses to PhDs, and scholarships up to 80%, we've got you covered.

Don't miss out on this chance to;

- Advance your career
- Pursue your passion
- Gain knowledge and skills

Call or WhatsApp +260766928859

Join the group
https://chat.whatsapp.com/Bui7kx1gg0GC5oCmdLUbEd

25/02/2025

ZAMBIANS : We are experiencing floods almost the entire zambia but why do we still having loadshedding?
ZESCO:

10/02/2025

Robbers entered a house and, asked for all the money and valuables. After they collected what they could, they gave the man of the house a gun with instructions to shoot his wife or shoot himself. The man got the gun, pointed it at his wife, and hesitated. He was thinking of what he had gone through in life with his wife and how she had suffered and sacrificed for him. He handed back the gun and said, "I am sorry, I can't do this." The boss of the robbers silently grabbed the gun from him and passed it on to the wife to kill her husband. The wife got the gun and, without any single hesitation, pointed it at her husband's head and pulled the trigger. But, at last, the gun had no bullets in it. The robbers got their gun and walked out of the house laughing.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:

1. If you were the man, what would you do?
2. If you were the wife, what explanation would you give?
3. If you were invited to bring peace, how would you settle it?

17/12/2024

Husband: Where are you?
Wife : at home love.
Husband : are you sure?
Wife : yes.
Husband : please turn on the microwave
Wife : (turns on the microwave) dreeeedrreee..
Husband : okay love goodbye.

Another day
Husband: where are you?
Wife : at home love.
Husband : are you sure?
Wife : yes.
Husband: turn on the microwave
Wife : (turns on the microwave) dreeeeedreeee...
Husband: okay love goodbye.

Another day
Suspicious huband where are you?
Wife : at home love.
Husband : are you sure?
Wife : yes.
Husband : turn on the microwave!
Wife (turns on the microwave) dreeeeedreee...
Husband : okay my love goodbye.

The next day the Husband decides to call on his son's phone and he asks him, “son where is your mother?”
Son : I don't know, she went out with the microwave 3 days ago.

29/11/2024

Listen up, you magnificent beast! Don't let the sun set on another day without making some serious magic happen! Remember what they say: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." So take that step, even if it's a tiny hop! Don't let fear hold you back – "Fortune favors the bold," and you are bolder than a dragon facing a thousand monkeys!

Today is your oyster, your chance to shine brighter than a thousand suns! "The early bird gets the worm," so get cracking! But don't forget to smell the roses along the way. Even the Monkey King needs a moment to relax and recharge. So find your balance, my friend. Work hard, play hard, and remember: "Where there's a will, there's a way." Now go out there and conquer the world! *A mischievous grin spreads across my face* You got this!

15/09/2024

"Accounting is the only Profession practised on earth and in heaven". You will "account for all your actions on earth and account for same in heaven". Now look at this BALANCE SHEET Of LIFE

Birth is your
Opening Stock.

What comes to you
is
Credit.

What goes from you
is
Debit.

Your ideas are your
Assets.

Your bad habits are
your
Liabilities.

Your character is
your
Capital

Your happiness is
your
Profit.

Your sorrow is your
Loss.

Your knowledge is
your
Investment

Your age is your
Depreciation.

Death is your
Closing Stock.

And finally :
GOD IS YOUR AUDITOR

Always endeavor to have a perfect Balance Sheet because your AUDITOR will come back sooner than later. Keep your books correctly.

09/09/2024

Happy Monday! As you embark on a new week, remember that every day is an opportunity to take a step closer to your dreams. Your mini business is a reflection of your hard work, creativity, and passion.

Set clear goals for this week. Whether it's connecting with new clients, completing a project, or brainstorming new ideas, every small step counts. Embrace challenges as learning experiences, and don’t be afraid to think outside the box.

Believe in yourself and the vision you have for your business. Keep pushing forward, stay positive, and remember: success is built on consistency and perseverance. You’ve got this!

Let’s make this week productive and fulfilling! 🚀💪

12/08/2024

So touch we get betrayed by people around who we work with it's very common

My dear brother Paul,
Just like I have told you several times, I am not in any competition with you or anybody else. However, seeing you grant countless interviews where you constantly discredit my efforts in the group that we both created and built together really speaks volumes. In your recent interviews, you claimed that you wrote and sang 99% of all P-SQUARE songs and discredited me by saying that our song with TI "EjeaJo," which I wrote, was a failure. You went as far as using the YouTube views to discredit me once again.
You never acknowledged the other songs like "Get-Squared," "Bizzy Body," "Personally," "Roll It," "Temptation," "Alingo," "More than a Friend," "Shekini," "Say Your Love," "Gimme Dat," "Senorita," "IGBEdu," and a few others. Were these songs also considered failures as well?

Every time I have spoken in interviews about P-SQUARE, I have always used "we" and "us" because I saw us as a team. But whenever you speak, it’s always "I" and "me," even when I’m standing right beside you. It’s as if I never existed.
My brother, neither of us is the most talented artist in the world, but you fail to understand that God gave us this talent and even granted us another chance to excel after our last breakup. Instead, you chose to turn the most awarded and decorated music group in Africa into a laughingstock again.

One thing you need to understand clearly is that the fans didn’t fall in love with P-SQUARE because of who sang or danced the most. What made us special was the magic that came from our combined effort - us two! P-SQUARE was a force, and the fans fell in love with P-SQUARE because of our uniqueness and unity. We both have talent, no doubt, and I have often praised you in our interviews for your songwriting ability. I have also praised anyone who has ever written a song for us or even for me as Mr. P. But instead of showing gratitude for my kind words, you seem to find satisfaction in rubbing it in my face, forgetting that it is by God’s grace that we have come this far.

Rather than joining forces with me to reclaim our number 1 spot in the music industry, you chose to team up with Jude to claim the number 1 spot in the P-SQUARE group, always looking for opportunities to marginalize and humiliate me.
You are always claiming to be P-SQUARE’s songwriter, composer, producer, singer, backup vocalist, in fact you are everything including P-SQUARE’s video director, band, promoter, manager, even the choreographer. You are the Author and Finisher of P-SQUARE! In fact, I dash you 100% of everything instead of the 99% you claim.
I blame myself for not responding to your tweet claims in April 2015 that you wrote and sang all of P-SQUARE’s songs. I didn’t respond to these false claims for the sake of peace, as advised by family and friends, and now I am paying dearly for it.
So, my brother, let me ask you: Is Rudeboy or Mr P bigger and more successful than P-SQUARE today? Are we individually selling out arenas and stadiums like P-SQUARE used to? Are we topping world music charts with our songs as solo artistes?

Do we command crowds and entertain massive audiences like P-SQUARE?
I often find myself wondering, what do you truly gain by constantly disrespecting and belittling me all the time. You have disrespected my wife, disrespected my family, disrespected my talent, disrespected my ideas, and even sided with Jude when he was clearly trying to oppress me. Now, it feels like you have taken it even further by trying so hard to turn the fans against me by making them believe I’m jealous of you.
You have been doing everything for the fans to hate me, but guess what? They will never hate me; instead, they will hate us both because we have disappointed and failed them.
I hope you are happy now. I genuinely wish you nothing but the best, bro! As for those who believe these lies and false narratives and come to my page to drop negative comments, I understand because you have been fed the wrong narrative for a long time. Please allow me to focus and do my music in peace.
As for the EFCC matter,

I will address it before the end of today. Stay tuned! Peace✌🏾

PETER OKOYE.

30/07/2024

Kanyama Police officer walks into a butchery in Makeni, just before closing time and asks, "Do you still have chicken?"

The butcher opens his deep freezer, takes out the only chicken left, and puts it on the scale. It weighs 1.5 kg. The officer looks at the chicken and the scale, then asks, "Do you have one that's a bit bigger than this one?"

The butcher puts the chicken back into the freezer and then takes it out again. This time, he craftily keeps his thumb on the scale pan, making it show 2 kg.

"That's wonderful," says the police officer. "I'll take both chickens, please!"

In a situation like this, you realize that your integrity and your reputation are on the line. Your wisdom becomes foolishness, and your cunning ways become stupidity.

As I write this, the butcher's head is still inside the deep freezer, looking for the first chicken.

Remember: always tell the truth, and you will be free! A good name is better than riches. Live to express yourself truthfully, not to impress others.

01/07/2024

Two men dīed same day and become Ghøst.
And this conversation ensued between them

Ghøst 1: *How did you dīe?*

Ghøst 2: *I was mistakenly locked up in a freezer. At first I was freezing and then I couldn't breathe and dīed*.

Ghøst 1: *Oh! What a sād way to dīe*.

Ghøst 2: *Yeah. How did you dīe?*.

Ghost 1: *I dīed of heart attāck. I came back from work and saw a man's pair of shoe at my door steps. I rushed into the room and saw my wife nāked alone on the bed. I searched everywhere including the kitchen, all the other bedrooms, I mean everywhere but I couldn't find the man! I just sat on the floor and suddenly developed a heārt attāck and dīed.*

Ghøst 2: *Did you check inside the refrigerator?*.

Ghost 1: *No*

Ghost 2: *Idīot! You should have checked the refrigerator and both of us would have been alive now*🏃‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️
@followers

08/06/2024

Every morning should be a day to appreciate God and appreciate his love.

To our mothers working so hard to feedback our despite the economy not balancing well, we pray that God gives you knowledge, understanding, long life and wisdom.

We also pray that almighty God 🙏 should add excess happy life as you fight for our better tomorrow.
LLameck mpelauka official