One Goth Momma

10/29/2026

I can't wait until the day where I can look at my daughter's infancy photos with joy. I know I'll get there. I know eventually, I won't remember that my partner was talking to other women during that time. I know it won't feel so heavy one day.
I look forward to that day. I work towards that day.

10/28/2026

10/28/2026

Is battleship luck or strategy? 👀

10/26/2026

Pumpkin Rolls!

I'm allergic to cinnamon :(
Most fall treats have cinnamon in them and while they smell amazing, they are the path straight to a migraine.
I made these with brown sugar & a drizzle of salted caramel honey.
Not pictured is the homemade cream cheese icing I made 😍

10/26/2026

Maybe Next Week

On Monday, I've decided. I'm leaving. No one deserves to have to sort out the aftermath of cheating. No one should have to feel this way. I have options, I'm grabbing my stuff and going.
On Tuesday, the decision feels heavy. My kids have lives here. The neighbor boy knocks and asks my son to play. Moving means uprooting his life. That's so unfair. I should definitely stay until my oldest is a little older.
On Wednesday, I'm numb. I show up for my kids but that's all I have in me.
On Thursday, I see the positive changes he's made. He is keeping promises. He's trying. He takes a night with the baby.
On Friday, I watch all the kids play together. I feel content. I laugh. Maybe this is where I should be.
On Saturday, I am reminded that I was begging for help while he was cheating. I'm reminded that my feelings didn't matter at that time. I'm tangled in my head, trying to understand the why.
On Sunday, I cry. The weight of everything knocks the wind out of me. I don't want to make any decisions and I want to run away at the same time...
Tomorrow's Monday. I need to pack the school bags, the diaper bag and my work bag. I don't have time to think about this... Maybe next week.

10/25/2026

Road Rage

You know how when you get in the market for a new car, you research, you pick a favorite, and suddenly you start seeing that car EVERYWHERE?
The roads are full of Chevy Camaros now.

Not because I was in the market for one. But because while I was home with my newborn, my partner was climbing into one and "talking" with his side piece. Because they couldn't "talk" like they wanted to at work.
Grown adults hiding in a gas station parking lot.

Because the Sheetz parking lot was the room before the hotel. The roads are full of Chevy Camaros and they don't even have to be the correct color. They're a reminder of the woman who doesn't have kids, doesn't have responsibilities. The woman who knew there was a partner, kids and baby at home but opened the car door anyway. A reminder of the man who made promises and had everything to lose but climbed in anyway.

The roads are full of Chevy Camaros, and when the kids get excited to see a zoom zoom car because they know I like fast cars, my heart breaks just a little. Their excitement is a reminder of all the jokes about mom getting a fast car one day - when they're grown, of course- and how they don't know I don't even want to look at those cars anymore.

The rage at the normal and mundane being broken into bits is so engulfing. The history that has been ripped apart because someone was bored on night shift feels so heavy. And it doesn't matter what I do right now, the fu***ng road is full of Chevy Camaros.

10/25/2026

🖤🖤🖤🖤

10/24/2026

I honestly just want stability. To not feel like I'm riding a rollercoaster. To not feel like I have to weigh the good days VS the bad. Too not have to put together another pros & cons list.

10/24/2026

We make hot chocolate a BIG deal in this house. 🖤

10/18/2024

Earrings!
$3 per set 🥰🥰🥰